I (23F) just finished my master’s degree in social work a few weeks ago. It was a really big deal for me—first in my family to get a graduate degree, and I worked full-time during school just to make it happen. So, my close friends and I planned a small dinner the weekend after graduation to celebrate. I invited my dad, my two younger brothers, my best friend, and a couple of classmates I’m close with. I also invited my mom—but not her husband, Doug.

For context, my mom remarried about six months ago. She and Doug started dating pretty fast after her divorce from my dad (like within two months), which was already kind of jarring. But I’ve been trying to be polite and open. That said, Doug and I… don’t exactly click. He’s very opinionated, loud in conversations, and kind of dismissive of anything he doesn’t agree with.

At Thanksgiving, he made a comment about my degree being “woke nonsense” and said something like, “Hopefully you’ll find a real job someday.” My mom laughed awkwardly, didn’t say anything, and I just kind of swallowed it for the sake of the holiday. But that really stuck with me.

So, when I was putting together this dinner, I made a choice to invite my mom but not extend the invite to Doug. I didn’t say “he’s not allowed” or anything—I just worded the message so it was clear it was for her, not her and a plus-one. I figured if she really needed to bring him, we’d cross that bridge.

Well, she declined the invite and told me later she felt “excluded” and like I was “punishing her for being happy.” I explained my reasons—how this was a small, personal dinner, and I didn’t feel comfortable having Doug there. I even offered to do a separate lunch or something with her and Doug another time.

She wasn’t interested. Now she’s not talking to me, and my aunt (her sister) says I should’ve “just sucked it up” because he’s part of her life now and I’m being disrespectful.

I’m honestly torn. I didn’t want to make this dinner about anything other than celebrating my graduation. But maybe I did make it weird. Was I being petty or was I just setting a boundary?

AITA?