For context, yesterday I attended a music festival in my country where a tragedy occurred: a metal crane fell on two people. This happened around 5 p.m., but the news wasn’t made public at the time, and no one seemed to know about it. My boyfriend and I arrived at the festival at 5:30 p.m., so we had no idea what had happened and carried on as if everything was normal—until around 10 p.m., when my parents called me while we were watching one of my favorite bands and informed me of the incident.

I didn’t know how to react. I felt chills and got really worried about what had happened, just like my boyfriend, to whom I immediately told the news. But I honestly didn’t know what to do. My favorite band was right there in front of me, and I didn’t know if I should walk away or what to do, because the news really shook me—but I made the wrong decision and chose to keep watching them.

My boyfriend didn’t say anything about it, but I noticed he was very down by the time the show ended and we left the area near the stage. I asked him what was going on, and he told me that overall, he hadn’t enjoyed attending the festival, and that the news about the deaths had affected him a lot. I suggested we leave, but he said no, that he was okay and we should stay—but I could see he was feeling worse and worse, so we ultimately decided to leave the festival.

He really emphasized how much he dislikes concerts, how he gets secondhand embarrassment seeing artists standing there singing, and that it’s a kind of enjoyment he simply can’t share with me. I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t even know how to process what happened yesterday, and on top of the guilt and shame I feel for continuing to watch a concert after finding out that people had died, my boyfriend isn’t answering my messages or calls. He’s online, but not responding, so I don’t know if he’s mad at me or at how I reacted to the situation.

I don’t know what to do. Any advice?