Throwaway account. Me (19F) and my boyfriend (21) have been dating for a little over a year. We started dating when I was 18 and he was 20. We are both seniors in college and we are graduating in December. When we first started dating, I told him that my parents were moving back home across the country as soon as I graduate. I said that I would have to move back with them because I can’t afford to live out here in my own. I could tell he was really disheartened by this.

So fast forward maybe to January, he confirmed that I could move in with him and his parents. At first, I was reluctant. I didn’t want to intrude on their lives and space. My boyfriend assured me that his parents had no issue at all with me moving in. I would get my own room, and I would pay his parents $250 a month. But the idea eventually grew on me. His parents have been so sweet and welcoming to me. I know they are genuinely good people. Now comes the complications. My parents always disapproved of my boyfriend. My mom assumes the worst of him yet they never even met. So naturally, I was anxious about telling them. I wanted to tell them in May, after my finals. I thought that if I passed my exams, it would lighten their mood and would lessen the blow a little. Just last week my mom asked me what my plans were for staying out here. She was expecting an answer from me and I gave in. But I lied a little because I already knew that my parents weren’t going to take it well. I told her that I might be moving in with my boyfriend’s family after we graduated, and I was just waiting on their okay. And if not, me and my boyfriend would share an apartment. Immediately I could tell she was furious. She stayed calm initially and just asked when he graduated, if I had met his parents, and why I wanted to move in with him.

A few days later I hear from my sister that my parents are livid. Later that day, my dad confronts me expressing his concerns. He’s calm and understanding. Then the next day, my mom blows up at me. She’s screaming at me, “I thought I raised you better than this. You disrespected us by not discussing this with us. I thought I taught you not to depend on anyone for anything and to be an independent woman. Me and your father are disappointed in you. Did you even consider us? Did you even consider how it reflects on us to his (my boyfriend) parents? Letting our daughter move in with them, we look like fools to them. And did you even consider how you look to them, sharing a bed with their son? You’re throwing your independence away for this fucking dude you barely know. You want to move in with your first boyfriend and expect this 22 year old guy to provide for you? You look so vulnerable and naive to him. You think just because he gives you attention and says he loves you that he actually cares about you? You are so fucking naive and you know nothing about love or the real world.” Now I’m not allowed to go on dates with him until I graduate, which is in 8 months. She said, “This is what happens when you cross me. It doesn’t matter if you’re my daughter. You disrespect and betray me, I will make your life miserable.”

Prior to this, I was only allowed to go on dates with him once every 2 weeks for 5 hours. We talk after classes but only for like 15 minutes. My boyfriend has been nothing but understanding, patient, and loving to me. And the fact that he’s still willing to wait for me until we graduate proves that my mom is wrong about him. He cried when I told him all about this, and it broke my heart. So AITAH for not discussing this with my parents sooner

Edit: There were other things that were said between me and my mom. Basically it was her saying how they sacrificed so much for my education. They put me through college so I could succeed and be independent. Me not telling them was like a huge FU to them and I have disrespected and insulted them. She was said, “I guess our sacrifices meant nothing to you and this is your true nature.”