I’ve been with my fiancé for two years, and we’ve been engaged for six months. Every Christmas, his dad and his group of friends host a gift exchange. Last year was our first time joining in, and it was great—no issues.

The format is simple: if you participate, you’re randomly assigned one person, and the guideline is to spend up to a maximum limit of $50 on a gift for them.

This year, I got one of my fiancé’s dad’s friends. I don’t know him super well, but he seems nice. I checked his Elfster list and ended up picking a hilarious T-shirt he’d added pretty recently—it cost about $15–$20. Around this time, I was also budgeting for gifts for my own family and my fiancé’s, and money was tight because both my fiancé and I work part-time jobs.

I did ask my fiancé if I should add a gift card or something else that was on his list, but he said, “No, the shirt is great and should be enough.” So I left it at that.

For context: my fiancé’s dad and stepmom are very financially comfortable—they just built a huge custom house, are always picking up the tab, and go all out with gifts. I’ve always expressed gratitude for their generosity, and I never show up to events empty-handed—I always offer to bring something.

On Christmas, I gifted my fiancé’s dad and stepmom a $50 restaurant gift card, and I gave his brother and the brother’s girlfriend each a $25 video game gift card. I received several books from my TBR list from his dad and stepmom and was genuinely overwhelmed and emotional—they were so thoughtful.

The friend I gifted didn’t get his present right away because the exchange was postponed until Super Bowl weekend, and he wasn’t well. No big deal—my gift was delivered to him later.

Fast-forward to a month after that, and my fiancé gets a text from his dad. He said the friend had finally opened the gift and then asked us if it was just the T-shirt. My fiancé confirmed that it was. His dad responded by saying that “everyone spends the full $50” (if that’s even true or not because the MAXIMUM amount to spend is $50 not the MINIMUM or required amount ) and implied my gift came up short. My fiancé tried to explain that not everyone has the same budget, and that we were both incredibly grateful for everything we received.

Then his dad said something that really stung: “If you couldn’t afford the full $50, you should’ve told me—I could’ve helped cover it.” I know he probably meant well, but that felt embarrassing, insulting, and honestly kind of classist. To be clear: The friend himself didn’t seem to have an issue—it’s my fiancé’s dad who clearly did.

To me, gifts are supposed to be about thought, not price tags. But now I can’t shake the feeling that my gift—and by extension, I—didn’t measure up in his eyes. That I somehow made him look bad because I didn’t spend enough. I hate the idea that generosity is being measured only by how much money was spent.

So… AITA?