I am currently making a conscious effort to interact with my dad as little as possible.

I know as a teenager most kids my age typically have a stage where we dislike our parents for one reason or another, however my sister 19f never experienced ANY genuine dislike for either of my parents. I wanted advice bc when I compare my experience to hers I just feel like I’m the problematic child.

I’m not going to get into any specific events but here’s why I’m so fricken done with communicating with this man. I genuinely don’t respect his personality or authority. I dislike the way he speaks to me and others, his tone and actions feel unnecessary and condescending. 9/10 conversations leave me feeling threatened, annoyed, or unheard. I could speak to him about literally anything and it always loops back to some redundant lesson abt “y u should look both ways before crossing the road” or a threat like “that is a stupid thing to be doing, don’t let me catch you doing that again”. When I tell him about my day he’s detached, he doesn’t remember my friend’s names or my classes this semester or even what I’m doing after school. I can’t rely on him to respond to text messages or plan/remember events the way I can with my mom.

He’s been violent with me before and if I’m being honest, I don’t forgive him for a certain incident, even after he apologized to me. He’s threatened me with making my life miserable on purpose several times, and has admitted that he wouldn’t make the same choices my mom has in regards to a separate incident where she kept me from loosing my job. (He said he would get me fired basically)

I’m ALWAYS walking on thin ice as when I express these feelings to him he shouts… and I’m just too tired these days.

From an outsider’s perspective do I look like a bad person? I know he’s my dad and I know he does care for me I just don’t see it anymore. I also understand that it is his job to be a bit tougher on me than my mom but I don’t see myself making the same decisions/reactions that he does if we were to switch positions. Should I work to grow and connect beyond our differences even though I have already partially grieved this relationship?