I wrote a longer one but this is the short version.

I was an adult (still am haha) and was living on my own, having a life, sociable, well liked, working hard, supporting myself. I got sick. I turned to my parents (after years) for help with funding my medical. I had funded it to that point but hit a roadblock and needed an operation. They used my desperation and medical need to get control of me and abused me over a few years. I get away. I go overseas. At some point I get stuck abroad financially. I am in talks with different relatives, but none manage to help. What I needed was a place to stay upon my return to my home country, so I could look for work, and then once I got work and paychecks coming in I could move out to rent on my own again. No place to stay. For much of this time I was on basically no contact with my parents.

Obviously something isn't normal if me (a brother, son, cousin nephew etc) just disappears. Had major health issues, a surgery, and then just goes, and then cuts contact with parents. Something isn't right. Instead of being people curious, or knowing me as a good person and assuming something was wrong, asking if I needed help or was okay, people actually assumed I was just the bad guy. Not talking with parents equals automatic bad guy.

My parents also seemed to bad-mouth me and spread a fake story how I wasn't actually financially stuck but was actually just choosing to be there, and choosing not to visit. I would get bizarre messages from relatives saying you can at least visit (I didn't have money to do that - I was trying to not only visit, but to return to my home country period what the heck, but no matter how many times I said stuck, stuck, stuck, they heard choice, choice, choice and my brother even told me poverty is a choice). I was stuck in a developing country where the wages were super low so it was not like I could just work a few months and get a flight. I was stuck there... and no help... so stuck there for years.

Then I finally get back (I'm back now, landed in the airport alone, to a rental alone, then found work, took a long time to get it stable, but I have a place and local job now). And this past Christmas and Thanksgiving I was not invited. This is the time I'm back, and I'm not invited. I wrote a relative, basically inviting myself over (was was told no, so I never went). My parents were angry at me cutting them off sort of thing. At the same time though, family is still mad at me acting like I never visited when they think I could have (I couldn't have).

My brother basically never wrote me when I was abroad. He never offered a place even when I wrote him saying I needed one. He never wrote me welcome back or need any help. I wrote him throughout this time of me being back and he didn't reply to what I wrote.

It's like he, and other family, expect me to just walk up to their house - they say I know where they are - and walk in there with my head down, cap in hand, apologizing to them, for not visiting, and they don't have to do anything. I flew to them. They didn't fly to me. I wrote them about issues. They weren't acknowledging anything they did. I put in a lot of effort. They never even apologized for the specific actions they did. It's like walking there to a hostile group that thinks I'm the bad guy, when I was left stranded in a foreign country for YEARS. That is LIFE CHANGING. And it is terrifying. It's not going somewhere, knowing you can return any time and have backup. This is broke, at one point homeless, and needing to survive. There was no guarantee I was going to figure it out and return when I did. It could have been many years longer. No help.

So, it just sort of happened, where my time back in my country passed and I never ended up visiting my brother. Now I'm looking to move elsewhere. So AITA for not visiting my brother during my time back in town?