My husband (34 M) and I (36 F) just had a baby 3 months ago and I’ve been suffering silently with some pretty bad PPD. I’m also exclusively breast feeding and she won’t take a bottle (important later). So my husband’s family has come to visit many times since we’ve had this baby including coming to the hospital and literally the day we came home. They live about an hour and half away which is not too bad. It’s very supportive but it’s also a lot when everyone comes. And yes they kiss the baby even though they’ve been told not to. The first big visit was 3 days after we got home and it was my MIL, SIL, BIL and his wife and two kids. It was a lot, but family is so important to my husband so I let them come. The whole time my husband was hanging out with his brother and his two kids and didn’t help with our little at all. Fortunately my MIL and BIL’s wife stayed with me and were very supportive. I actually ended up taking my blood pressure as I had a doctors phone appointment while they were there and it was 140/95 (ended up having to go to the ER the next day because it didn’t go down).

But it really started to put my BIL and SIL in light. My SIL only lives about 15 minutes away so comes over a lot. She often brings her dog and just immediately drops the leash when she walks in and then dog just sprints around. We have two cats and the dog being there really upsets them. She also runs straight for the cat food before I have a chance to pick it up. Plus the dog has gotten in fights with other dogs. I’ve asked her to keep the dog on the leash but she doesn’t and just expects my husband to watch the dog for her. My husband says not a big deal and I’m over reacting. But I’ve asked her to not bring the dog over because it does make me nervous with the baby.

This brings us to the present. This past Tuesday I was at the cemetery looking at burial spots form my dad as he is on hospice after battling dementia. He is still with us but has declined. While there SIL calls and then texts to let me know that they’re going to be coming over Sunday and we would be hosting a party for her dad’s birthday. Not asking, telling. I let her know I might have to bow out because idk what’s happening with my dad, but she says it’s fine they can all hangout without me. Also MIL and other SIL (who support and help won’t be there). Sunday rolls around I’d been battling some pretty bad PPD so I cleaned the house but didn’t do much more than that. Right before everyone comes over I run over to our old address as a package had got misdelivered. I reluctantly leave the baby with my husband. My BIL had just arrived as I’m walking out and blocked my car in so I have to take my husbands. On the way back as about to get on the freeway the car started acting weird and wouldn’t accelerate. I fortunately didn’t get on the freeway and was able to fix it. But it was out of oil I guess? It was super scary. While driving I put on my emergencies and tried to call my husband. No answer. When I get ahold of him he doesn’t ask if I’m ok but is worried I damaged the car. And is frantic as he’s trying to make food and wrangle his brothers kids. I’m glad I was able to get back because the baby was just left on the floor and my BILs kids were running around.

I take the baby into our room and get her fed and she sleeps on me. While sleeping all I hear is my husbands family complain. While I had been gone my husband had been cooking for everyone and I guess didn’t make enough. BIL gets his kids to pound on the table with him yelling for more chicken. Yes, they know the baby is in the next room trying to sleep. She wakes up shortly after. I come out and they’ve completely moved all the furniture. They dragged over our nice wooden dining room table so they could see the TV better. Instead of using the plastic one that was right there. My husband protested this I guess but his BIL and SIL didn’t care. They just trampled all over him and continued to be critical and negative about everything he does as he tries to get them sides as he makes more chicken they yell at him for using his hands to move the fruit or it not being enough. As I am in the next room I can hear all this. The kids then make a mess on the table and floor as BIL always has the kids (2 and 3) eat directly off the table with their hands(not blaming the kids I know they’re messy). So I finally get to come out and am looking forward to hanging out and am in shock my the mess. And everything being moved and ask why it was moved? I tell them I wish they wouldn’t have done that and then take the baby back into the room with my as it made me really anxious. My husband comes in and tells me I was inappropriate for saying that and I need to apologize. But the baby is hungry again so I stay in the room and feed her. They all go outside. I stay inside and clean everything up while playing with the baby. DIL and SIL come back inside but ignore me. Husband is outside with BIL and his kids. BIL is telling my husband about how the backyard is a mess even though my husband literally took off a whole day to clean it and has been out there every night pulling weeds. Good time to mention BIL expects everyone else to watch and play with his kids. He will call you out and say it’s your job. Literally said the night before to my husband be ready to play. My husband looks up to his brother so much so when he’s there me and the baby are invisible. When they come back inside an hour later it’s time for me to put the baby down for another nap. Husband comes in mad because they want to sing happy birthday and people want to see the baby. I told him she’s been up for an hour and a half you all were outside. He says we could have come outside. True. But I wanted to clean up and I really couldn’t hear his brother make jabs at him anymore. After they left husband asked why I was upset I tried to tell him that it was just very isolating and hard for me being in the room while everyone is out being loud and having fun. I also said I don’t like his brother being so rude and he said it was just jokes. We’re supposed to go down to see them next week. Am I over reacting because of PPD?