I am graduating college in about 2 weeks, and I cannot wait to wake up the day after my graduation and do absolutely nothing other than things that make me happy and that I find relaxing. I have had many setbacks during my college career, and it’s taken me 6 years to get my degree, but the time is finally here, and I want nothing more than to have no responsibilities for even just a day.

My bf has expressed in the last couple of months how he wants to plan a celebration for me, and I really appreciate him and everything he has done for me, so I am trying to be on board, especially after he said, “Your celebration is not just about you, it's also to celebrate and appreciate those who have helped you (i.e. friends and family)” as a response to me saying, “I don’t want a graduation party or celebration, I really just want to do whatever I want to do for a couple of days afterwards.” I agree with what he said, and so I have been on board since then for the most part, but today he mentioned when I would want to do something and who I want to invite. I thought about it for a sec and said, “Well, I want to celebrate it with my family the day of, so maybe the day after?” Then he said, “Okay, we can do something with your friends the day after graduation.” Then I immediately thought about having to stress about people coming over and having to get that together and then expressed this to him. He said he would take care of all of it, but then I realized that even if I did let him do all of the planning himself, I just did not want to be expected to host my friends the day after I graduate.

I feel I am being ungrateful, but at the same time, if this celebration is for me, I wonder, “why can’t I just celebrate the way I want to?”, and the way I want to celebrate is to not have any plans or anything required of me after 6 years of school where I constantly was being required to do assignments, hw, studying, etc. My confusion is that he says he wants to celebrate me, but we are going to celebrate with my family afterwards, and that is enough for me. He seems to be upset/sad about me not making an effort or wanting to fill my weekend with a celebration with my family right after the graduation, AND then my friends the day after. It wouldn’t be a whole day celebration for either day, just in the afternoon. I just don’t want to do it, and I want to be honest with myself because I think I would feel pretty shitty if I am around friends the day after I graduate and all I really wanted to do was relax. I am not saying I wouldn’t be able to have a good time either just that I know I would love to not do anything to begin with.

I suppose I could combine both my friends and family celebration together, but that seems even more stressful to me since I wouldn't really want my friends over my parents’ house since I really feel like I would have to be a host, and that would be more stressful for me. I feel selfish, but I feel like I deserve to do what I want. Am I in the wrong? I don’t really know what to do or say since I just tried to initiate a conversation about it, and he just doesn't seem like he believes me one way or the other. I say I don’t want to do a celebration, but then he keeps pushing. I say I want to do one, and he says I don’t want to, which is mostly true, but I am willing to have one now after thinking about it, but he seems somewhat over it.

Extra details that may be important: - we have been together for about 5 years -my birthday is next weekend so I suggested that we don’t do anything for my graduation with my friends and we can just plan to do something with them to celebrate my birthday instead - he has mentioned no one did anything for his graduation, which we were together for but I think he said this mostly as a joke - I feel like I could also just be stressed about my last couple of days of school and that may make me feel like I shouldn’t be worrying about anything other than passing my classes and graduating - Also sorry for any typo’s or anything I need to get back to hw :P