Me (30M) and my boyfriend (31M) have been together for almost 6 years and everything has been smooth sailing at least until a month ago, 2 years ago I was diagnosed with a disease that causes some tumors to grow on my vocal cords preventing me to speak, so the doctors told me that this has no cure and ever 6 months more or less I have been getting surgery to remove the tumors with laser.

Granted it has not been terrible and the surgery has been very minor however it has been taxing on my self esteem and my hability to deal with anything related to communication, however it is nesesary because if I don't get them removed they prevent me to speak anything louder than a whisper or even less.

So this last month I got my surgery scheduled and decided to go to for a family visit for a week. When I returned everything seem fine and went to have a very peaceful surgery, and left the hospital after a day of recovery.

While in the house I noticed that he was more silent that the usual but nothing to worry about because I also could not speak so it made sense but still asked him a few times if he was okay.

I was watching a series that depicted an abusive relationship and jokingly told him that I wouldnt know what to do if I was on that woman's shoes, and keep talking for a few minutes about the importance of having an escape plan in case things go wrong and also to never be dependent 100% on a partner because that makes you vulnerable.

That triggered him most likely by guilt to confess that while I was on vacations with my family, he decided to go to an erotic massage (for context our relationship is closed) however he also told me that while he was on the massage table the masseuse suddenly jumped in to the table put him a condom and proceed to fck himself with my boyfriend's dck.

He told me that he didn't intended that to happen but still he didn't stopped him. I told him that I had to think this trough and will give him my answer on if we decided to continue together after a few days.

I decided that I was not in a moment were I would be able to deal with more losses in my life because at the same time I have to get used to live with this new medical condition that I have plus also getting the notice of me losing my job because the company would outsource my role and that of the whole team to India.

Not only that but I will also lose the department were we live since we pay rent together and will have to stretch myself a lot to keep it, the cat since it was his from the beginning but I bonded with him to the point were I'm his go to person for everything and also it would mean to lose the friends that we made together.

So I decided to forgive him not only because of my feelings but also because I still love him and I do believe that his cheating was not planned nor was it with someone we knew. Still I mentioned that he had to give me time to be myself again and during that time I told him that I did not want to do anything sexually.

Now a few days have past and he is kinda annoyed because I haven't let it go and still need more time to be able to return to normal. Also my friends are telling me to drop him or just pretend that I'm fine and then dump him when I feel like it better, however that doesn't go well with me, If I decided to forgive him it's for real but still I need my time however he has told me that it would be better for us to finish if we cannot return to normal. I am a little bit at a loss on what should I do now.