Hi again. I recently shared my story about not wanting to return to my home country to see my father, who is currently very ill. I was genuinely surprised — no one really judged me, and while only a few people replied, those who did were kind and supportive. That meant more to me than I can explain.

I wanted to write a short update, and also provide some details I didn’t mention before — ones that I think are important to fully understand the situation.

Many members of my family knew about the physical abuse I experienced from my father. It wasn’t a secret. Still, they blamed me — saying I provoked him just by expressing myself, by being “too much,” or by disagreeing with him. I was just a kid, and instead of being protected, I was treated like the cause of the violence.

At 12, I went through another trauma unrelated to my father — something incredibly painful that I trusted a relative enough to talk about. That relative dismissed it completely and accused me of making it up. From that point on, I stopped opening up to my family. Even years later, when I ended up in the hospital with a serious head injury after my father beat me, no one noticed I was missing until 10 days had passed.

Now that he’s very sick, the same relatives are calling me heartless. Some tried to guilt me with photos, others just cut contact altogether. I tried to explain my boundaries, and they chose to shut me out entirely. I later found out — through a friend who’s a lawyer — that some of them may be trying to position themselves for inheritance. I hadn’t even thought about that. I was just hoping my dad would survive.

I’ve now contacted the hospital directly and set up communication with the doctors. They told me he has about an 80% chance of recovery, which brings me some relief. At least now, I know the truth without relying on people who never really looked out for me.

To the few kind people who responded to my original post — thank you. It may have only been a handful of comments, but they helped me feel seen. That means the world to someone like me, who’s used to being ignored or blamed