40 years ago my father flew off to far-off country after my parents divorced and I said I wanted to live with my mother. I was 8 and he left without saying goodbye...

Over the next 10 years he'd phone about once a month, and fly me over to stay with him, or come back to visit, but each time he'd a) pressure me to go live with him, and b) get angry with me over some minor disagreement. Soon he stopped paying child support.

When I was a young adult, he compensated for that by wiring me a coupla hundred bucks per month. But the same pattern continued, this time with longer periods of not talking..

The final straw was when he inherited over $1.5m and squandered it on a pipedream of a business which predictably failed, leaving him basically penniless at 75y.

Now - surprise! - he's back home and wants to be part of my life. When I told him I didn't want that, he basically demanded to see my kids, as if he has a right as their grandfather! What's more, despite my thinking all these years I was hard done-by, he's told me he's been holding a grudge cos I chose not to live with him and would tell him where to go.

I should add that he was diagnosed with bipolar but doesn't take meds, has many traits of NPD, and is a charming but obnoxious person to be around.

AITAH for now wanting nothing to do with him? My over-arching feeling is he invested little time or money in me, was an AH, and I a) don't want to reward him for that, and b) don't want to expose myself or my kids to that. Appreciate your thoughts.