I know how this might sound absurd but I genuinely want to know plus I just need to get this off my back. Okay so I'm going to go by (V )and my sister is(J). So I live in a hispanic house hold so they kind of expect girls to clean and cook while the boys basically get to slack off and do whatever they wanted . So background on me I (V) I have anxiety and I'm 16 turning 17 in August a Jr graduating in 2026. I have 4 older siblings, My oldest sister (M)who is in her mid 30's. My 2nd oldest sister (J) who is 29, My older brother (J,A) who is in his early 20's, and my other older brother (D) who is (19).My sister (J) has 2 girls (A)who is 8, and (H) who is 5, and a boy (N) who is 3. I have been taking care of my 8 year old niece since I , was 8 and she was a month old , mind you I have never had experienced taking care of a baby but I had no choice because my parents would work in the tobacco fields from 4 am -10 pm and after a month of recovering my sister had decided to go back to work. So I had to Learn how to make a bottle, change her diapers, burp her, while my brother (D) played video games and I'm not going to lie it was stressful for me especially when she would cry and I didn't know how to sooth her, and, I would also break down crying almost everyday but I put up with it because (J) was my older sister and no one else could help her. I would watch her when I would come back to school so that my parents could rest from working so hard so I would play games with her and while she would watch tv or snack on some fruit I would clean the house like washing dishes, putting them away, folding cloths,vacumm the living room,sweeping. As a kid I was always envious about the kids in my class who got to have sleep overs, play dates, and got to hang out because It felt unfair that they got play while my day just repeated the same, take care of the baby cook, clean, take a shower, brush my teeth, go to sleep repeat to the point that I would cry and I felt stuck. But I also felt angry with myself for even thinking that way because my sister (J) needed help and I felt like a was selfish for even thinking that for a second. Fast forward 2020 my niece (H) was born and I was happy for my sister but I also knew what it meant but I also thought it would be easier since I had experience then and it was a lot of help back then honestly but it was also very exhausting with a three year old who liked to climb everything and put everything in their mouth and a 3 month old but I did the best I could I would play games with them, feed them, and gave them baths and while they napped which was at like 8:00pm and so I would do the cleaning because it was easy than doing it while they were awake. Fast forward 2022 she had my nephew (N) and at this point I feel bad for admitting this but I felt like (J) was selfish for having another kid because I already knew what was waiting for me but turns out she actually took a year off till (J) and her then fiance split up which was in 2023 and of course I had to baby sit again and I love them I really do,she never had to pay me because I did because I knew she needed help and since they were family. Fast forward again to today April, 23, 2025 btw also my dads birthday today and, I still take care of (A) and (H) when they leave school and my nephew (N) when my mom picks him up from the babysitter. I dont want yall to think she's always just mean she does sometimes takes me and the the kids, places like the park or movies but sometimes I get too overwhelmed when they act out screaming and crying and I just get a wave of anxiety.Now comes the problem my sister asked if I can watch them in the summer and I asked yes but could she pay me because I'm already a Jr and want to make some money and finally hang out with friends and to save up .she then replies with "But I won’t start paying y’all till you watch them as much as watched you and (D)". So when she came home my mom was setting up my dad's cake I told the kids to clean up the mess they made in the living room because they had takes a plate of cut up oranges to the living room area and made and left peels on the floor after I told them they can't bring food in the living room area they also left the couch cushions on the floor. I just wanted them to clean up the mess a little before they left because their mom has a habit of letting them leave a mess, she doesn't clean up their messes they dont either so guess who gets yelled at by her parents when the living room is a mess ill give yall a hint ME! She then replies with " You could say please and don't talk to my kids that way" I said to her jenny even you complain how the the kids dont clean up at your house and how they leave it a "mess". Honestly they are good kids but you have to but stern with them with a few things but i never yelled at them she then made the kids rushed the kids to eat a slice of cake or she would leave them so she was just mad or already idk but i felt bad for the kids I really do love them but I need a break and idk if i ever want to have kids in the future. So AITA for not wanting to take care of my nieces and nephew?