This whole thing’s a mess. I feel sick even writing this, but I genuinely don’t know if I’m the asshole or just exhausted.

My brother Joe has been staying at my place for the past few days. His marriage fell apart a couple months ago. He was in bad shape, needed a place to land, and I said yes without hesitation. That’s what you do for family, right?

The backstory: Joe has a 7 year old son, Jonah. Great kid smart, sweet, curious. He got super into watching tech YouTube videos, mostly about keyboards (don’t ask me why that’s a thing). Joe let him binge them without really paying attention to what was being said. Long story short, one of these teenage streamers dropped the R-word in a video. Jonah picked it up. Used it at school.

His teacher called it in. Amanda Joe’s wife was furious. Rightfully so. She’s a teacher herself and has been trying for years to get Joe to take media exposure and boundaries seriously. This was kind of the last straw in a long, slow breakdown. She moved out a few months later. They’re co-parenting now but not really talking.

When Joe showed up at my place with a duffel bag and this hollow look in his eyes, I didn’t say no. But I was still carrying a lot of resentment. I’ve watched him screw things up and laugh it off for years. Shrug off Amanda’s concerns. Joke when it wasn’t funny. And now that it all blew up, he acts like he’s the victim of some cosmic joke.

So yeah a few nights ago, when he was asleep in the next room, I posted about it here on Reddit. I didn’t name names. I just needed to unload. I didn’t expect it to blow up or go viral. It was supposed to be anonymous therapy.

But Joe found the post.

I don’t even know how. But he came out of the room holding his phone and just… looked gutted. Then angry. Told me I betrayed him. That he was humiliated. That I “fed him to strangers” for karma.

I didn’t hold back either. I told him I was tired of watching him blow things up and then act like it was everyone else’s fault. That I’d spent years biting my tongue. That maybe Amanda was right to walk away. It got heated. Ugly. He packed up and left. Haven’t heard from him since.

Now our mom is on my case, saying I should’ve kept it private. That he’s already lost enough and I kicked him while he was down. I get that. I really do. But I’m also just… tired.

So yeah. AITA for venting online when he was staying under my roof? And for letting it turn into the final straw?

I didn’t mean to hurt him. But I don’t know if I regret it either.