So here’s the deal. My ex-wife and I share three kids, and we’ve been divorced for a few years now. According to our legal agreement (the divorce decree), we split financial responsibilities a certain way. I pay around $1,200 a month in child support and alimony, plus close to another $1,000/month to cover medical insurance premiums for the kids. She’s self-employed, so she doesn’t carry that burden.

She recently texted me upset because she tried to file her taxes and they got rejected—because I claimed one of our kids as a dependent this year. She said she thought we had “talked about” her claiming both kids going forward because of past expenses I supposedly still owe her for (like dental implants for our oldest). But nothing like that was ever written down, agreed on formally, or added to the decree.

I admitted I made a mistake on the taxes and offered to let her claim both kids next year to make up for it.

She then launched into how she’s struggling financially with all the “extra” expenses—school fees, phones, meds, car insurance, therapy—and how she feels like she’s doing everything alone. I reminded her that our court agreement requires her to notify me within 30 days if she expects reimbursement for things like school or medical costs. If I’m not told in that timeframe, I’m not required to pay. I’m not trying to duck responsibility—I’ve always paid what I’ve agreed to—but I can’t be responsible for stuff I hear about after the fact.

I also brought up that I check in with the kids regularly about school and help them with homework and projects when I have them. I’ve even offered to let one or both of them stay with me more over the summer to give them a break, and I’m willing to do all the transportation for summer school and driving hours. My partner and I are happy to support them in any way we can.

Still, she ended the convo saying she feels like she’s “doing this alone,” and it kind of stung. I know parenting is hard—especially under these circumstances—but I’m here, doing what I can, emotionally and financially.

So… AITA for standing my ground and setting boundaries, even though she’s clearly stressed?