so, i (18m) have been dating Kit (19m) for almost a year, and its great. hes the best person on earth, and id tear my heart out for him if he asked me to. i am utterly in love, and never want him gone.

when i was 14, i lost my virginity to an older woman (50+ from what i remember) babysitting me. she simply came in my room, asked, and took what she wanted. back then, it was the greatest thing ever, just so cool, and i flexed with it all the time. somewhere, in the back of my mind, i can feel that it mightve not been the most moral thing ever, but i didnt say no, so i dont think its assault.

anyway, i mentioned it to Kit a few weeks ago in a conversation, and he was horrified, telling me it was definitely assault, but i disagreed, mentioning that i didnt refuse. he did bring up valid points like i never really consented either, and that i was way too young - though, that just made me feel prouder, for being so lucky. we argued for a while, and admittedly, both said stuff im not that proud of.

the day ended with Kit telling me to get therapy, and i was too tired to argue it.

he keeps pestering me about when ill book an appointment even when ive told him im not going to. the mention of that day makes me feel uneasy despite it being associated with positive memories, so im constantly on edge, afraid for when hes gonna mention it.

Kit is ignoring me a lot nowdays, and doesnt hang out around my apartment as often, and seemingly hasnt let go despite me apologizing - so, im just at a loss for what to do. i dont like therapy, as opening up to strangers isnt somethng im interested in, but i also see his point.

so, AITA for not going to therapy for something that i dont even think is an issue?