Hi Reddit, I (25F) am getting married to my amazing fiancé (27M) this summer. We're both big into food—like, our ideal date night is trying a new hole-in-the-wall restaurant or attempting something ambitious at home (we once tried to make fresh pasta and ended up covered in flour for hours, but it was still the best night). So naturally, the food at our wedding has been a huge focus for us.

We carefully curated a menu that reflects both our cultures and our personalities. I’m Dutch, and he’s British, so our menu is this awesome fusion of both backgrounds—think gourmet bitterballen, seasonal vegetable tarts etc. We worked with a local caterer we love, and it’s been finalized for about three months now.

Enter Emily (not real name) (30F), my future SIL. She went vegan about 6 months ago, and while I totally respect her choice, she’s been pretty vocal and intense about it. Like, she once lectured a waitress for 10 minutes at my birthday dinner because the menu wasn’t “vegan-friendly enough.” My fiancé and I have still made a point to include vegan dishes at every family gathering since—last Christmas I literally made a separate vegan mushroom bourguignon and dairy-free mashed potatoes just for her.

So when planning the wedding, we made sure to include plenty of options for her: vegan appetizers, side dishes, and even a custom dessert table with vegan cupcakes and chocolate-dipped fruit (which she loves). But the two main entrée options are not vegan—one’s a beef dish with roasted root vegetables, and the other is a goat cheese and leek quiche.

When Emily found out, she called me and said I was being “deliberately exclusionary” and “self-centered.” I tried to explain that changing the menu at this point would be a logistical and financial nightmare—we’re two months out, and our caterer is booked solid. I also pointed out that she has a full meal available—just not a specific vegan main entrée.

She didn’t care. She told me that if the roles were reversed, she would have made sure I felt included, and that this was a slap in the face. Now she’s saying she might not come to the wedding. My fiancé is 100% on my side—he actually reminded her of how I went out of my way last Christmas to make her that vegan dishes. But now his parents are chiming in, saying I should just “keep the peace” and add a vegan entrée even if it’s last-minute.

I’m honestly feeling frustrated and kind of guilty, but also… isn’t it our day?

So, AITA for refusing to change the menu for one guest?