I (25F) am child free by choice, and have a sister (31F) with 5 kids, ages 2 to 13. I absolutely adore my nieces and nephews and try to be a loving, supportive presence in their lives. That said, my sister and I are very different people with very different values.

We live in a conservative area, and I tend to keep my opinions to myself during family events to avoid conflict. But last new years, after being cornered and directly asked what I thought about current political issues, I shared my perspective. I expressed that I don’t think our current president is a good person, and I voiced support for more compassionate, equitable policies. It didn’t go over well things blew up, and I basically became the villain in the room for having a different opinion. And my nieces and nephews were there to witness the fire.

Fast forward to yesterday, my sister called me and asked me to lie to her kids about my beliefs. Apparently, they’ve made comments about thinking I’m more compassionate and kind than she is, and she asked me to tell them that I actually believe the same things she does, or that we’re not so different. Essentially, she wanted me to downplay my values to make her look better by comparison. I said no. I’m not going to lie to kids I love just to protect her ego.

And the thing is, her kids feel this way because of how she acts not because I’m going out of my way to make her look bad. A couple years ago she married a millionaire, and ever since, she’s become extremely arrogant. She’s obsessed with image and wealth, and she’s raising her kids to think that being poor or different is something to be ashamed of. Meanwhile, their biological dad lives close to the poverty line, and the kids see the contrast every time they visit him. Instead of helping them process that or teaching them to be kind and empathetic. These kids are limited in their self expression because she wants them to fit her image of wealth.

I believe everyone deserves dignity and care regardless of their background or status. But I have never said anything to make their mom look bad in comparison.

She’s a bit upset with me for not pretending to be different. I love them so much, and it hurts to be put in this position but I won’t lie to them about who I am or what I believe. I don’t think that’s fair or ethical. I’d also like to add that I don’t ever bring up politics or talk about them with my nieces and nephews.

AITA for refusing to lie to my sister’s kids to influence their views and beliefs?

I also know politics has a lot to do with the situation but please don’t comment with political bias. I just want to know if I’m not acting as a good sister or person