I (20F) have this friend named Alex (22F). We’ve known each other for almost three years now. Alex is a very mysterious and closed-off person, so even though we knew each other, we only really saw each other when our moms met until recently. For the past few months, we’ve started meeting up alone, just the two of us, and I’ve gotten to know her more deeply.

From the first time I met her, I was super intrigued. She has this beautiful, mysterious energy not in a mean or intimidating way, but more like she’s just in her own little world. Over the past few months, we’ve gotten a lot closer, and during that time she opened up about a friend she had to cut off recently. I remembered hearing this girl’s name before because Alex used to see her all the time and talk highly of her, so I was kind of curious. She never mentioned anything bad about her before, so I wanted to understand what happened. And honestly? The story was insane but what amazed me most is how graceful Alex was while telling it.

The girl she cut off, Melanie (21F), had been obsessively copying Alex’s every move. And I don’t mean normal “inspired by your friend” stuff I mean full on mimicking.

Examples? Alex has been into witchcraft for years. As soon as Melanie met her, she suddenly became interested in witchcraft and started calling herself a witch. Alex wants to live in a van suddenly Melanie wants to live in a van. Alex randomly mentions that her inner voice sometimes slows down a week later Melanie texts her saying her inner voice slowed down too. Alex starts seeing visions Melanie says she’s seeing visions now too. Melanie came over to Alex’s room, took a photo, and then a week later invited Alex to her own room and said, “I’ve been meaning to decorate, can you do it for me? The way you would decorate if it was your room.”

It was like that constantly. Even worse, Melanie once said she was going to stop tagging Alex in her stories just so her followers wouldn’t follow her.

But it didn’t stop there. What really upset Alex was Melanie’s energy. She constantly talked badly about all of her friends not in a gossip way, but in this cold, evil way. For example, Alex once complimented one of Melanie’s friends, saying she was really pretty and had great style and probably attracted a lot of attention at events. Melanie immediately responded with, “She’s not the it girl you think she is. What she wears are “my” clothes. Her fashion sucks. Let me show you what she wanted to buy the other day I had to stop her.”

She also said horrifying things like not caring if a friend of hers got raped because “she didn’t even care herself.” She’d talk about her friends’ personal relationships, and whenever Alex said something kind about them, Melanie would try to poison her opinion.

During all this, Alex wasn’t going out much and Melanie kept inviting her to hang out with her friends. But Alex said she didn’t want to she didn’t want to absorb any more of that negative energy, especially because Melanie was always bragging about how people only use her for her network and how everyone wants to be friends with her because she knows everyone.

There was also this weird moment where Alex joked, “I see you more than I see my boyfriend,” and Melanie replied, “Aww, I feel bad for him, I’ll buy him a little gift for his birthday.” She had only met the guy once and had never gotten Alex a gift in their entire three-year friendship. That kind of rubbed Alex the wrong way too.

Both of them did tarot, and Alex was always reading Melanie. One day, right before she cut her off, Alex decided to switch roles and asked Melanie to do a reading for her instead. She asked, “Is there someone in my close circle with bad intentions toward me?” and yes, the card that popped up confirmed it. Alex then said she was going to do a spell to find out who it was, and Melanie suddenly panicked and said, “Nooo Alex, what if it’s me?”

Which was wild because a few months before that, when they were talking about why Melanie was scared of Alex casting a spell on her, Melanie told her, “I don’t know… maybe I do have bad intentions. I’m doubting myself. Am I even a good person?” Alex said she stayed friends with her that long only because she saw something good in her at one point but that it eventually turned into pure disgust and realised that she couldn’t deal with a person like that.

And honestly, there’s more. She told me a lot of things Melanie did that were just… off, but it’s hard to even remember all of them because there were so many red flags.

Another weird part? Melanie randomly asked Alex if she might be autistic. At first, Alex thought it was kind of funny, but Melanie kept bringing it up. She said stuff like, “I watched this show and the autistic girl acts just like you,” or “Do you think you might have autism?” It felt like she was trying to make Alex insecure about things that didn’t even need to be insecurities. When I brought this up, Alex told me that Melanie still used to compliment her a lot and that she genuinely loved her at some point which honestly made me even more confused. I couldn’t understand how she still felt some softness toward Melanie after everything, or how she could talk about the friendship with such grace.

What shocked me even more is that Alex talked about her own “mistakes” in the friendship like not being open about her private life because she felt uncertain, or not communicating enough, which might’ve made Melanie feel like she didn’t care. But to me, those aren’t even mistakes compared to how awful Melanie acted. I’ve never seen someone reflect like that in a situation where the other person was clearly in the wrong.

So now… here’s where I’m coming from.

Every time I hang out with Alex, I end up bringing this up again because I feel like I kind of relate to Melanie not in the toxic or evil way, but in the sense that I feel really inspired by Alex. And that scares me. I don’t have bad intentions at all. I genuinely want the best for her. But I admire her so deeply that I sometimes feel like I want to be like her. She’s so independent, grounded, and herself. The way she decorates her room, the way she talks, the way she thinks about things — I can’t help but feel like I’m behind or not as evolved. And because she’s so private and doesn’t share much about her personal life, it makes me even more curious. I know I’m nothing like Melanie. But I can’t lie the intensity of how much I admire Alex makes me worried that maybe that admiration could turn into something unhealthy if I don’t stay aware of it. And the weirdest part? I even downvoted a post on Reddit once just because Alex told me she loves Reddit stories and always watches them on TikTok. I felt so weird after that like… why did I even do that? I also have started watching van life videos and bought couple things that she bought which to my attention she was very happy to send me the links to whatever she bought & Our moms have gotten really close recently and they’re even planning a vacation together with us. I really want to become closer with Alex and make her understand that I’m not like that. Alex doesn’t care about if I somewhat copy her now and encourages me to do it but she doesn’t know how I truly feel. I genuinely love being around her and see her as someone I can learn from not copy or imitate.

Recently, when I tried to ask Alex for more details about the situation mostly because I wanted to make sure I’m not subconsciously turning into a “Melanie” she just said that Melanie isn’t relevant anymore and that she has no desire to talk about her. And I respect that, I really do. But it made me feel even more stuck. I’m a super self-aware person and I genuinely try so hard to make good decisions and never hurt anyone, so the fact that this is even bugging me so much is what’s making me spiral.

So now I’m wondering… should I just send this post to her and let her know how I feel? Or is that too much? What should I do?