Okay, so this is a bit of a tough one.

When I was 17, my parents kicked me out. I had nowhere to go, but my girlfriend’s family took me in. Her dad—this incredible man—didn’t just give me a roof over my head; he gave me a future. He helped me get into college, guided me through life, and was, in every way that mattered, my real father.

When I married my girlfriend, my MIL was actually pregnant at the time. A surprise baby, Kate, who was born into the most loving family. But tragedy struck when my in-laws passed away when I was 28. My wife and I, who weren’t planning on kids so early, didn’t even hesitate—we took Kate in and raised her as our own. She’s our family, no question.

Now, Kate is 24 and just got engaged. As part of her Christmas gifts, she revealed everyone’s wedding roles. My wife is being honored as the “mother of the bride” (but called “sister of the bride” for sentimentality). Our daughter will be the flower girl, our son the ring bearer. Then she turned to me… and asked me to walk her down the aisle.

I agreed but hesitated—Kate noticed. She asked why, and I was honest: I told her that as much as I love her, it feels wrong to take this moment away from her dad. Walking his daughters down the aisle was the most important thing in the world to him. I told her I’d do it for her, but I needed her to understand why I was struggling with it.

She was furious. She accused me of clinging to a memory of someone she barely even remembers and said I was being an asshole for not just stepping up. My wife later told me she understands where I’m coming from and agrees that it feels like Kate is erasing her parents—but that I should’ve just sucked it up and lied instead of making it a thing.

Now I’m wondering… AITA for not wanting to “replace” her dad in this way? Or should I have just smiled and done it without hesitation?