I (16f) really resent my mom (40f). I hold so much resentment towards her and i need to know if it’s valid or not.

I feel as though my mother doesn’t act like a typical mom. She doesn’t really do anything and it makes me so angry. She doesn’t cook, clean, help with anything, etc and it pisses me off so much. Maybe i’m overreacting but it really gets to a point. I have been doing everything by myself without her help, i even take care of my sisters, (13f & 9f). This has been ongoing ever since i was 11. It infuriates me so much, i don’t think i should be doing all of this when i never agreed to it in the first place.

When it comes to chores, she doesn’t do anything. My sisters and i have to clean up the entire house everyday while balancing school while she sits at home doing nothing all day. When i asked my friends what their mothers do, they usually say that their mothers do laundry, or dishes, while my mother makes me wash HER clothes.

She usually screams at us and gets so pissed off when we don’t do something right when cleaning up but it’s so exhausting having to do the same thing over and over again. not only having to straighten up, but also have to get up every time she calls us to clean up HER ROOM.

I don’t even have time to care for myself. I battle with depression and having to deal with her constantly just pisses me off. She claims that she cares for children with mental health issues yet cant even care for her own children with mental health issues. It’s so bad to the point my youngest sister cries every time she has to stay home. This is so saddening to me.

Recently I’ve been doing my sisters hair (we all are black and have 4c textured hair). There’s nothing wrong with me practicing and doing their hair but I don’t think i should be doing it anyway. The only reason why i started doing their hair in the first place is because my mom quite literally would not do it at all. One time, my youngest sister had broke down in tears, saying that her head was hurting and itchy. Mind you, she has scalp psoriasis. I don’t know if you have to keep up with it so it would hurt or anything, but when this happened her hair was not washed or anything for about a month or two. It really hurt me that my mom heard all of this and decided not to get up to help her, so i helped her.

I’m not really skilled when it comes to hair, i don’t know how to do weave braids, cornrows, or anything like that but i make it work, but the funny thing about it is that my mom does know how to. The only time my sisters and i get weave in our hair is when my older cousin does it. But now she doesn’t have the to do our hair now that shes in college, so i tried asking my mom for help. Every time i ask my mom for help it’s always “I’m not going to be here forever” or “You should know how to do hair, it’s your head, how could you not know how to do it” which pisses me off so bad. I get that she’s not going to be here forever but it doesn’t hurt to help HER kids.

I never agreed to take on her responsibilities. I’m so pissed off that i have to be a borderline parent to her kids and to her. Whenever I try to express my feelings, she makes it seem like whatever i feel is invalid. I don’t know what else to do. I have no where to go to cool off. i have no one to take to. i can’t even go to family since i feel like they don’t like us anyway.

I didn’t even put all the reasons why i resent her but while in a fit of rage and in tears, i think this is all i can muster. So AITA?