So, I grew up with a brother and show my affection through roughhousing. Not beating people up, but more like grabbing someone's shoulders as a greeting or being rough in general. Nobody has a problem with it, and if I’m told to stop, I do. I never do it with the intent to hurt anyone.

With that out of the way, I have a friend, J, who recently gathered our entire friend group to tell me that I am physically abusing her. She was the only one talking, though, and I was later told that everyone else was confused about what it was about. I’ve been through abuse myself, so this left me feeling pretty confused and hurt.

She said that what I was doing was hitting her and abusing her. I don’t punch or hit her in the face or anything like that, so I guess she was just referring to how I greet people and play around. I asked her why she didn’t just speak to me privately about this, and she said, "I was too scared of what you would do to me." I didn’t say anything, but I felt really weird about that.

I don’t get why she’s acting like I would punch or slap her around. I never did that. She would also roughhouse too, doing the same things I did. It wasn’t a daily occurrence either. I think I can understand where she’s coming from, but it feels like the whole friend group dislikes me now. I’ve become more reclusive, and I don’t want to speak to anyone about it, which is why I’m coming here.

Was I wrong for this?