Hi everyone, I need some advice and perspective.

Over two years ago, my partner and I went full no-contact with his parents due to years of emotional disrespect and boundary crossing—mainly from his mother.

Some background: His mom never accepted me. Even when I became pregnant with our daughter, she continued treating me like an outsider. She never embraced me as part of the family. She smiled to my face but constantly disrespected me behind my back. She even referred to me once as “the other people” when talking about me and my partner.

During visits, the disrespect was so calculated that during one family visit, she waited until I went to the bathroom to have my partner and our baby take photos with her—without me. It was extremely obvious that I was being intentionally excluded.

When our daughter was born, my partner made it clear to his family that he was now a partner and father first, not just a son. His mother refused to apologize for how she had treated me. She did eventually apologize to my partner (for disrespecting me), but refused to apologize to me directly—the woman raising her grandchild. Because of that, my partner kept distance even after a seemingly “good” brunch where he had cautiously tried reconnecting, and ultimately cut her off again.

Then his dad got involved—and made everything worse.

During a phone call, after my partner brought up our daughter, his father said word-for-word:

“I don’t know that baby. That’s not my granddaughter. I’ve only seen her three times and one of those times was by accident. I don’t want anything to do with that if your mother can’t be involved.”

When my partner heard those words, it absolutely shattered him. I’ve never seen him cry like that before. It broke him in a way that I can’t even fully explain. Our relationship with his parents ended completely after that.

We chose total no-contact for over two years. No pictures sent. No visits. No phone calls.

Both his mom and dad reached out to wish him a happy 30th birthday this year. His mom’s message was dry “Happy birthday..hope you and the family are good…-mom” and his dad sent a long, long message and a short part was “I said a lot of inconsiderate things the last time we spoke and I really am sorry.”

He never answered them.

But now?

I just received an Instagram DM out of nowhere from my partner’s uncle (his father’s brother), asking if we could bring our daughter to see her great-grandmothers. Mind you, this is the same uncle that has threatened my partner before to punch him in his face since he won’t talk to his father (without even knowing what happened). In the message though, he emphasized that they’re getting older (one is 91) and would love to see her.

At first, it sounds innocent… but I don’t trust it.

Because during this long period of no-contact, different family members have been randomly reaching out.. We got scattered messages and calls from different relatives. His grandmother even called once, saying his dad was “distraught and crying. She understood why we went NC when my partner told her what was said by her son though. Other relatives have tried to guilt-trip and pressure us into “bringing the baby over.”

It hasn’t felt natural. It feels coordinated.

It doesn’t feel like this is purely about the great-grandmothers. It feels like they’re trying to set up a situation where his parents, and maybe other family, will be waiting to “talk it out” and guilt-trip us into reconciliation.

I told the uncle hell no and to not contact me again. But at the same time, I know his grand mother and her mother had nothing to do with that. She even agreed with my partner when she spoke to him and he told her what was said..but I don’t know.. I don’t want to keep my daughter from a whole side of her family that had nothing to do with the drama but I also don’t want to give the father OR the partner’s mother the satisfaction of even entertaining that. Because any thing that goes on at that visit (if they’re not invited too), would only be shared with them. AITA?