I (27F) have been with my boyfriend (29M) for a little over two years. He’s great — kind, thoughtful, and supportive — but there’s one massive issue in our relationship: his mom.

From the beginning, she’s been extremely involved in his life, to the point where it feels like she still thinks she should come before anyone else. She calls constantly, expects to be updated on every little thing, and has even popped by our place unannounced multiple times, just “checking in.”

I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but over time it’s become clear that her behavior isn’t just overbearing — it’s manipulative. Any time we plan something together (a trip, a weekend away, even just a date night), she somehow manufactures an emergency or guilt-trips him into canceling.

But the part that really pushed me over the edge? She’s still super close with his ex-girlfriend. Like, texting regularly, inviting her to family gatherings, tagging her in Facebook posts, and constantly bringing her up in conversation — “She used to make his favorite meal just the way he liked it” or “She always knew what he needed before he even asked.” She’s even said, to my face, “I just always pictured her being part of the family.”

I finally snapped after she pulled me aside and told me I was “taking her son away” and that “no one will ever love him like she and his ex do.” Creepy, right? I told my boyfriend, and while he agreed it was weird, his response was basically, “That’s just how she is.”

So I laid it out clearly: I won’t be around her until she starts respecting boundaries — including our relationship and my role in his life. Now I’m the villain. My boyfriend says I’m being too harsh, and his mom is “just trying to stay involved.” Some of our friends think I should be more patient, but I’m exhausted from constantly being compared to someone he’s no longer with — and being treated like I’m just a temporary placeholder.

AITA for putting my foot down and refusing to be around his mom until she backs off?