My (30F) girlfriend (29F) and I booked some tickets to attend Notting Hill Carnival with a masquerade band. She’s been planning this for over a year as a way to celebrate finishing her doctorate. She paid £300–500 for a full costume package and sees it as a once-in-a-lifetime experience — she’s never done costume before and likely won’t again due to the cost. I bought a £150 t-shirt package so I could be in the band with her, though I’m not as emotionally invested.

Here’s the issue: One of my closest friends (who I’ve known for 6 years and talk to daily in a group chat with mutual friends I’ve known for 15+ years) has suddenly moved her wedding to the exact same day — August 25th. Her wedding was originally planned to be in 2026

The wedding is likely to take place in East London, while Carnival is in West London, and transport that day is a nightmare. Both The wedding and the carnival run from morning into the evening, so there’s no realistic way to do both.

My long-time friends all say I need to go to the wedding. This friend won’t have another one. But my girlfriend is someone who takes plan changes hard. She was really upset for hours when a friend bailed on her birthday plans — and she still brings up tension from a past trip I canceled. I know missing Carnival will sting, even if I offer to give my t-shirt spot to one of her close friends so she won’t be alone.

I plan to talk to her and explain it carefully, and I still want to celebrate her properly before or after — but I know this will hurt.

So… AITA for skipping Carnival with my girlfriend to attend my close friend’s wedding?