I'm (28f) married to a great man who has a wonderful family. I get along really amazingly with the majority of his family but one sister (31f) and I do not connect and she can be very dismissive of my feelings about my past. She has complained aloud a few times that I don't rally around her for all her love life rejections. She has really bad luck with men and always wants people to sympathize. I understand more than most how rejection hurts so I have tried to sympathize in the past but I always felt like she didn't appreciate me rallying around her, which is why I don't do it anymore.

This happened again last week when we were all at another SILs house. It was just me and SIL and she told me it's not like I get what it's like for her and that I don't really know rejection. That stung because she knows I do but she acts like it's nothing. So I told her she will never understand what it's like to be rejected by everyone who's supposed to love or at least care about you but I do. I lived with that most of my life. She told me I was throwing a pity party and being melodramatic and looking for sympathy. I walked away from her so it wouldn't go any further and I told my husband what happened. We decided to leave so she wouldn't make a scene or anything. SIL said I don't get to throw my trauma in her face like that and I don't get to act like I know trauma more than her.

For those who'll need my background to judge more or for those who are wondering what I meant. I should explain some stuff. My dad was married and had a kid before I was born. They separated for a while and both saw other people but got back together. When I was born it was a source of tension and he chose not to be involved. But my mom died when I was 3.5 and he took custody of me then, for reasons I never really understood. But I was raised along with their kids (a son 2ish years older than me, a daughter a few months younger, another daughter 2 years younger and another son 4 years younger).

I always knew I wasn't dad's wife's kid. I knew I wasn't allowed to call her mom or stepmom or anything that would imply I was anything to her. My dad didn't care for me much either and I was treated different by everyone and everyone meaning half siblings and the wife's extended family. I also heard my dad's wife vent to him about how he should have made sure mom aborted me and how I ruined their perfect family.

When I was 9 my dad and his wife died in an accident and we were all temporarily placed in foster care. My half siblings were taken in by their grandparents but their grandparents obviously didn't want me. So I stayed in foster care. The case workers insisted on sibling visitation for a while but my half siblings were throwing huge tantrums about seeing me and saying really mean things and that was later dropped when they realized the relationship was poisoned beyond repair. And the grandparents didn't want us having contact anyway.

When I turned 18 I tried to track down family on my mom's side to find out if I was wanted there. Through that I learned my mom hadn't even wanted me and had left me with her family and they never wanted me so got rid of me as soon as she died. They still didn't want to know me even when I reached out.

Then I was encouraged by my therapist in my early 20s to reach out to my half siblings and that door was slammed in my face again. I had to change therapists after that because my old one was really crappy at being supportive.

So that's my history with rejection. I never got an adoptive family or a longer term foster family either so that's more but less hurtful in a way.

AITA?