AITA for stating my sister’s husband has white male privilege and causing a huge row?

This blew up a few months ago and I’m still reeling. I (52F) had a major argument with my sister (50F) and her husband (52M).

They made a rare visit to our house—unexpectedly bringing our mum too. I wasn’t in a great place mentally (late-diagnosed AUDHD, Christmas anxiety) but did my best to host.

Later, once Mum had left, the conversation turned to Elon Musk and BIL started defending him. I challenged his take, and during that discussion said (non-confrontationally) that as a cis straight white man, he’s in a position of privilege and likely to be least affected by the current rise in extremism.

He exploded. Accused me of insulting him, yelled that I called him a misogynist (I didn’t), and acted like he’d never heard of privilege before. He actually shouted, “How am I privileged? I WORK!” — context: he’s had a six-figure director job for decades.

My sister jumped in too, asking how he could be privileged. It turned into them both screaming at me. I broke down in tears, saying I missed them and just wanted to be closer.

She laid into me - “you know why we don’t want to spend time with you? Because you’re no fun to be around. You are too opinionated and intense with all your woke ideas and you’re always off your head on weed” (for context I am a legal medical cannabis user and she has NEVER seen me “out of it“ on anything ever let alone recently).

As she stalked off her parting shot, delivered with a look of utter contempt was “ugh, why are you so weird?” 

That was three months ago. Not heard a thing from them since. We weren’t invited to Mother’s Day lunch. It’s Mums birthday this week and we’d normally go out on a girls day - that’s not happening it’s us and most hurtful of all, my adult niece and nephew are ghosting me too even though they weren’t involved.

So… AITA?

Edited: typos