I met Lucas (not his real name) in 2009 when we started working at the same company. He was very welcoming, showed me the ropes, and we became friends. Over the years, he’d often invite himself to stay at my mom’s place in a touristy city nearby. My mom was a fantastic host — she'd cook his favorite foods, get us into clubs for free, take us to great bars and restaurants. My parents eventually felt like he was only friends with me to benefit from those visits, but I brushed it off.

Over time, Lucas got oddly possessive and started having dramatic conversations with me, almost like we were dating — despite the fact that he isn’t even into women. I started to feel suffocated and ended the friendship.

Years later, he reached out to express condolences after my dad passed away. We reconnected and realized I was about to visit the country he now lived in. He convinced me to cancel my hotel and stay with him, and that trip went fine. Later, I ended up moving to the same city.

Fast forward to the pandemic. He had just moved to a new, touristy town and insisted my husband and I come visit once flights reopened. I hesitated because my husband had lost his job, but Lucas even offered to pay for his flight. Eventually, we agreed to go — just for a week. I was working remotely, so I'd be busy from early morning until about 2 PM, then free in the afternoons.

From day one, I made it clear we wanted to contribute. I asked to stop by the supermarket so we could buy groceries and cook to help with expenses and chores. Lucas refused to let me buy anything he already had and said we should “feel free to help ourselves to anything,” pointing to a pantry stocked with bulk sodas from our home country. So we did.

While I worked, Lucas — who was unemployed — spent time with my husband, then took both of us to various beaches in the afternoon. My husband and I took turns cooking meals as planned, but we didn’t try to go buy additional groceries again, since he had shut it down the first time.

Saturday was the only full day I had off, but Lucas told us he and his husband were going out on their own because they “needed a break from hosting.” It felt odd, but we respected it and had a great day on our own. That night, he texted asking about our Sunday plans, and I said I’d love to go back to a beach he had offered to take us to again.

That’s when everything exploded. He suddenly accused us of treating his house like an AirBnB and his car like an Uber, and said we were consuming his stuff without cleaning the house. He even brought up that I never clean when I visit my own mom’s house (???). I was stunned — none of this had been mentioned before, and I felt it could have been addressed in a way less hostile tone.

I thanked him for the stay, told him we’d spend our last night at a hotel, and asked him to send us the amount we “owed” for the supposed AirBnB, Uber rides, and pantry consumption. He replied with sarcastic heart emojis. We haven’t spoken since. He blocked me everywhere.

So... AITA for taking his hospitality at face value when he insisted we make ourselves at home and not worry about buying groceries?