When I started college, I met a girl and we quickly became close friends. She was adorable, and over time, I realized I loved her. I was always there for her, helping in any way I could. But I began to notice a pattern—whenever I needed her, she would either say she was busy or simply refuse to be there for me.

A few months ago, we visited her brother’s house together. It was my first time there, and after spending the day hanging out, it got pretty late. She decided to stay the night, while her brother dropped me home. Surprisingly, after just one meeting, her brother asked for my number, and I gave it to him out of politeness.

A day or two later, she told me she had kissed her brother’s friend that night—a guy she'd had a long-time crush on. What shocked me was that she was already in a committed relationship with her boyfriend of 4–5 years. She said it happened under the influence of alcohol, but it didn't stop there. She continued to spend intimate time with this guy for nearly a month. When I confronted her about cheating, she admitted it and casually said, “I just haven’t felt a male presence in a while.”

Things changed after that. She started distancing herself, ignoring me, and I began feeling like the unwanted third wheel in her friend group. It reminded me of a past trauma, and eventually, I had a panic attack because of how she treated me.

One day, while talking to a mutual friend, he said he wanted to inform her boyfriend about what she had done. I was hesitant, but he insisted he’d do it anonymously. However, she somehow found out and traced it back to him. She accused me of breaking her trust, even though I hadn’t sent the message myself.

Now, we’re no longer in touch. And I keep wondering—am I the asshole?