Context | I [20 F] have told my boyfriend [ 23 M] that I will prioritize my education over in the event if I had to choose him over university. Just some context, I am a recently accepted student in a BSN program and received a decent merit scholarship based on my high school transcript. It will be my first time attending university full time since dropping out of college at eighteen. The reasoning behind me dropping out was due to my indecisiveness but I ultimately decided to go towards the nursing route after working as a CNA.

Shortly after finishing CNA school, I would meet my partner just a few months after I turned nineteen. I met him via social media and from there we decided to connect and start courting. He works in the creative industry [ can’t specify because it would be a dead giveaway ] but he’s an extremely charming and devilishly handsome man as well as very intelligent.

I would say we courted for about six months but took a break since I did something stupid { I gave my number to a guy while we were talking and yes I do regret it}. We stopped talking and decided to take a break but still kept each other socials.

A few months after we stopped talking, I found out on my twentieth birthday my cousin passed away. A few days later I was hospitalized for a month after suffering from a severe public mental breakdown with suicidal tendencies. After being discharged from the hospital, my bf and I reconnected since he was concerned for me and we eventually started to date again.

Things were going okay and I felt like my life was patching up again - I was excelling in a class at my community college, earning decent money from the two jobs I worked as a HHA/CNA, and my boyfriend and I were were improving as a couple.

However, I noticed that as I started to prioritize my studies my boyfriend would get slightly agitated . My bf and I talk on average for a couple of hours every day and on every other weekend I go to his apartment to see him. I love my boyfriend but sometimes I feel like it’s hard to have time for myself and for my school work since he calls a lot. There are times I initiate calls too since I like to speak to him but he would initiate calling and text frequently.

At first I thought it was sweet, but I started to feel overwhelmed because I didn’t have time for myself. I even told him that after community college I would like to apply to university [ for nursing pre-med ] and he said if it’s too far we would have to break up because of long distance.

Slowly but surely, I started to slip in a depression [ grieving my cousin ] and will admit I started to neglect my boyfriend . My depression got worse after losing another family member who passed away from an asthma attack. Calls became shorter, text became drier and I felt numb. My boyfriend would console me often but I felt ashamed.

I would still put effort to see my boyfriend [ LDR] and he would pay for my traveling fares to see him. At one point I resigned from my second job because it was overwhelming me, and not too long after I got let go from my first job.

I fortunately have a new job and am climbing myself out of debt. With college approaching, my bf and I talked about school and he does express concerns about me forgetting him when I go to university and will break up with him. I love my boyfriend and told him that’s not going to happen but he’s not assured even despite me telling him I will prioritize him and will still make it work. And it’s not like I don’t speak to him.

Even before we dated officially we would talk daily for hours to the point my family said they felt neglected because I was always on the phone with my bf and hung out with him.

I feel bad that I told him I would put college first but he doesn’t understand why college is important to me. I am struggling financially and with a degree in BSN it would help me significantly with my pay grade. My boyfriend doesn’t think you need college to be successful {financially) which I agree to an extent yet it would be much harder to thrive financially and take longer with a college degree.

He is upset and I feel bad terribly. So I ask the public AITA for telling my boyfriend I would prioritize college over him ?