Me (24F) and my boyfriend (26M) have been together for two years now and we currently live separately but he wants me to move in with him soon. I am not opposed to this, but the issue is that our jobs are on opposite ends of town and he lives close to his job (~15 min). My proposal was that we find an apartment in the middle so that I am not commuting super far to work (~50 minutes from his side of town vs my current ~10min commute) but he’s fixated on staying where he is because “the apartments are nicer in this area”. And I agree , the apartments are much nicer on his side of town, but that’s not a solid reason or excuse to be okay with me increasing my commute by 40 minutes. My job requires me to travel 1x a month , so driving for long periods of time is tolerable. A 45-50min commute wouldn’t be the end of the world. BUT if that’s the case, I refuse to go 50/50 on rent he currently already pays 100% on his own for.

*** Side note: we make around the same money. No one makes significantly more than the other.

Why would I contribute anything more than 20-30% towards rent + smaller bills like WiFi and utilities if he can comfortably afford it on his own now and he gets to keep his 15 min commute, while my commute is now increased by 40 minutes. Requiring me to fill up my tank (that takes premium gas) more frequently , causing more wear and tear on my car, and making my work days much longer. I just don’t see how 50/50 is fair when he’s not whiling to compromise and my expenses outside of the household (gas & tolls ) will increase. I told him I feel like 70/30 or 80/20 + groceries and utilities is more than fair. Because again, I’d be moving into his apartment where 100% of the bills are solely on him already and he’s in a location intentionally for the sake of a shorter commute to work. His response was we can live on his side of town until the end of the year when his lease is up and then we can try finding somewhere closer. So I said well if that’s the case then I’m not going 50/50 until the commute times are 50/50. And he said I was being childish.

So, AITA?