My (30M) older brother passed away two years ago in a car accident. He left behind his wife “Leah” (29F) and their daughter (now 5). Since then, our whole family has stayed in touch with Leah—inviting her to holidays, birthdays, checking in on her and the kid, etc.

But recently, things have started to feel... off. She’s been making decisions that just don’t sit right with me. She started dating again (which I get), but the guy she’s seeing is someone our brother hated—an old friend he cut off years ago over some major betrayal that I won’t go into here.

Leah brought this guy to our nephew’s birthday party last month like it was nothing. When I pulled her aside and told her that it felt disrespectful to my brother’s memory and the family, she got defensive and said, “Well, I’m not part of your family anymore, so I don’t have to answer to you.”

That stung. Hard. So I told her, “You’re right—you’re not.”

Now she’s upset and saying I was cruel and that I’m trying to erase her and her daughter from the family. Our parents think I should apologize, but I don’t feel like I did anything wrong. If she doesn’t consider herself part of our family, then why should I?

AITA?