I (26F) work in a small office where everyone knows each other pretty well. There’s a newish coworker, “Sophie” (29F), who joined our team about six months ago. She’s nice enough and good at her job, but she’s constantly oversharing really heavy personal stuff — like, way beyond casual venting.

At first, I tried to be supportive. She told me during lunch one day about her messy breakup and I listened, nodded, and offered the usual “that sucks” kind of sympathy. But then it became a regular thing. Every break, every meeting where there’s downtime, she finds a way to steer the conversation toward something traumatic — her ex cheating, her mom being emotionally abusive, her anxiety, and even details about therapy sessions. It’s always graphic, emotional, and way too much for a work setting.

It got to the point where people in the office started avoiding her. I noticed that when she walked into the break room, others would quietly leave. I started doing it too because it was exhausting to be emotionally cornered every time I just wanted to heat up lunch. Last week, after yet another 10-minute rant about her “toxic family” in the middle of a team call, I finally pulled her aside and said, “Hey, I think you might need to save some of these deeper conversations for outside of work. It’s becoming a bit overwhelming for people.”

She got super defensive and accused me of being cold and lacking empathy. She even told HR that I made her feel “shamed” for having mental health struggles. HR called me in but luckily they didn’t give me any formal warning — they just asked me to be mindful. Now Sophie won’t speak to me and some coworkers think I was brave for saying something, while others say I could’ve handled it more gently.

I get that people go through tough stuff, but I also think there’s a time and place. So… AITA for telling her to stop trauma-dumping at work?