This whole situation is a mess, and I don’t know if I’m being heartless or just finally setting boundaries.

My mother in law lost her house due to foreclosure. The twist? She never told us. For years. My fiancé and I absolutely would have helped if we had known. We’re not rich by any means, but would’ve done whatever we could to make sure that she was able to stay in her house. Especially because she lives with her severely disabled husband, my fiancé’s father and her disabled adult daughter. Now they’re all homeless and we’re left scrambling.

When everything came to light and they got evicted, I immediately got them an extended stay hotel and paid for a week in advance. While talking with my fiancé about how they were gonna pay to live in the hotel, I was told that their disability check would be used for housing. But apparently my fiancé kept paying for their hotel and their storage unit. All using our joint bank account, without telling me. I didn’t notice right away because I have a business that I’m trying to grow and I’m busy taking care of our child.

Yesterday I finally looked at our finances and saw that over $11,000 was used for all of their stuff and I completely lost it. I drove to the hotel and told everyone that no more of our money would be used for them. I told my fiancé that if one more cent of our money was used I will break the engagement and leave.

It’s not that I don’t care about them. I do. But I feel betrayed that she hid the foreclosure from us, let the situation spiral into homelessness and used me as a personal piggy bank. This money that we have is to go to our new house that we were supposed to be buying and also to my daughter’s school. I also feel disrespected that my fiancé went behind my back and used our money without asking.

Now the morning after I’m starting to feel guilty like it’s my fault that they’re going to be on the streets.

Also, I feel it’s important to add that we have never had a good relationship with his side of the family. We have been together 13 years so this isn’t a new relationship. His mother has never really wanted anything to do with our daughter except for maybe three holidays a year that we go to her.

Am I the asshole for telling them that I will no longer financially help?

Edit to add- they had money. They won a large settlement (a few million) and she blew it all.