This is a throwaway, but I(34F) need to know if I'm an asshole here. My husband (34M) has a child (9F) with his ex (35F). They have shared custody with his visitation on weekends and then almost a week on week off during summer. His Ex is now going through her second divorce and according to her, it's pretty nasty. Our problem is their child is in the crossfire and a very bad instigator. For backstory, She feels she needs to split her parents up from their significant other by making up extreme problems to cause said parent to confront their significant other. I've actually caught on to the situation and recorded her trying to do it and replayed it back for him to see. Everything seems like it's going that way with her mom but we were able to stop it from happening on my side. Now my husband has problems with my family(his inlaws) and every time his daughter starts her crap, he turns on me and uses something my brother would say about me against me. Mind you, my brother is very autistic and calls everyone he doesn't agree with names you don't call a female. So now he is convinced that what my brother keeps calling everyone is the truth and keeps using it against me pretty much every month since the argument incident with my brother happened. I've tried everything to convince him that none of it is true. Now he uses it any time a problem arises dealing with his ex or a family member on his side or my side. Now to get back to the issue at hand, his ex had did the drop off to the house and she got a little flirtatious toward my husband and didn't realize I was standing in the dining room at first and can here everything. She explained how bad it was for her divorce and my husband tried to explain to her the whole friend of the court needs to be notified and he will try to help her get out of the situation, which I agreed to. Now here is where the problem is. My bonus daughter is now trying to start crap between my husband and me by telling my husband she isn't comfortable around me anymore, but when confronted by both parents, she won't say why. I even agreed to them recording our interactions if it's needed to help solve the issue. Just the other day, I busted her texting her mom that she found a way to split my husband and me up and she is going to use it. I confronted her about it and she ran to my husband warping another story (mind you, cameras haven't gone up yet). I told him she was texting her mom that she was trying to split us up as well as speaking over the phone to her mom about the idea. Daughter hid the phone and my husband is taking her side, which caused a huge fight and him back to accusing me again with everything my brother has called me. Now he got my inlaws involved and thinks my side of the family is the problem dealing with his ex's marriage being split up. (My dad and her husband went to school with the same people). So at the end of the argument, I told him his ex and her problems are not my problems nor my family's and that we have nothing to do with it at all. I even told him to quit listening to the demons in his head. AITA?