So I (34F) told my mother today that I might be on the spectrum and it took a turn that I did not expect.

So a bit of a backstory, my mother has always been a very anxious person, and has an intense story. We weren't very close growing up because I always had the feeling that I had to be the mother in this relationship and that she was seeking from me to fill the void that was left from her parents. With that being said, we became closer when I became a mother myself. She is very caring and loving as a grand mother, but she's begining to show the same patern that she did with me to my oldest son.

Recently, I firgured out that a lot of my behaviors and tendencies could be associed to autism. Since it's not diagnosed as well in little girls, I thought it might be true. So I began to look it up even more, and it came down on me like a ton of bricks. But I still wasn't sure you know, am I just an overstimulated and overwhelmed mother? Or is it more than this?

So I told my husband, who was very supportive and knew exactly what to say to make me feel comfortable. The next person that I wanted to tell was my mother. Even though we can have a hard time understanding one another.

So we took a walk together, and I told her that I would like to seek some professional help to help me find out if I have autism. I took my time, and explain it to her the best way that I could.

She kept quiet and told me that I should seek professional help to find out. And she didn't say much after that. I began to feel uncomfortable. So I asked her how it made her feel. And she told me that it was very hard for her not to get a hug from me. I began to feel more and more anxious and sad. Because she seemed angry for some reason. I have a tendencies to know very... very well how people feel. She asked me what I was expecting out of her. I told her... do you still love me? And she answered angrily, of course I still love you. I show you everyday no? So I felt myself closing up because I felt that I did something wrong.

We kept walking and we were cleary very unseasy. I told her that I didn't know what I expected exactly as a reaction... but that wasn't it. So she got mad and told me that she always felt that she needed to suck it up with me and just accept evrything. That she needed to change herself. That she could help me and could not give me more than what she was giving me right now.

I felt heartbroken. While I'm writing this, it's very easy for me to know that I only wanted her to support me and to offer me her ears so we could talk it out.

She was suppose to come eat dinner with us tonight and she texted me that she wouldn't come over. I told her that it was fine, but I asked her why. And she said that she just prefered it that way.

I'm not sure what to do now, AITA?