Hi Reddit. I’m M (19F), and I’ve been living in my own apartment since I was 17. Long story short, after a huge fight with my family, I got my 18th birthday gift early — a place of my own to “start adult life.”

Living alone sucked at first. I had no motivation to keep things clean, my friends used my place like a hookup spot, and I was constantly lonely during the week. Things got better when I found a roommate.

In August 2024, a childhood friend I hadn’t talked to in a while, L (19F), reached out asking if I lived alone and had a spare room. I said yes — I was happy to have the company, and the help with bills didn’t hurt either. I charged her $700/month, even though the actual costs were closer to $1,000 per person. I didn’t really understand budgeting back then since my dad had always paid the bills, but $700 was already a big relief, and he was fine with it too.

She moved in that same week and, at first, things were great. But a few months in, I started getting annoyed by certain habits and didn’t know how to bring them up. We had one argument but talked it out and agreed to always communicate honestly when something was bothering us — and for a while, that worked.

Enter: the boyfriend. A (19M).

He’s… a lot. Super spacey, constantly distracted, always interrupting people mid-sentence because “he’ll forget otherwise,” and honestly, I suspect he has ADHD (he sees both a psychologist and a psychiatrist, but no official diagnosis yet). It’s like he just can’t focus on anything.

When we play board games, I have to explain the rules at least three times because he’s off in la-la land. He leaves the fridge open constantly. If we go shopping, he literally disappears after 10 minutes because he can’t stand still. He piles dishes in the drying rack in a way that they always fall and break. He even made a carrot cake once, wrecked the entire kitchen, and didn’t clean up because “he can’t focus on cleaning.”

It’s exhausting. And while I know some of this might be ADHD-related, I honestly think a lot of it comes down to how he was raised — rich family, never had to do chores, always got a pass for his behavior.

The real issue started during his spring break. Without asking me, L and A decided he would stay with us for 10 days — from March 26 to April 5. I wasn’t consulted. He was just there.

By March 30, I was losing my mind. No privacy, extra noise, more mess, higher bills — and L wasn’t even around most of the time because she was working. I felt like I had a third roommate I never agreed to.

So I finally brought it up. I told L it wasn’t okay for him to stay over that long without asking me. I explained that, unlike her, I actually see how our utility bills go up when he’s here, and that I need some time alone in my own home. I also told her that his behavior drives me up the wall — it feels like living with a hyperactive child, and I just can’t deal with that for 10 straight days.

She blew up at me. Said I was being controlling and unreasonable, and that she wants to move out because it’s “so unfair” of me to say her boyfriend can’t stay for more than 4 days. But to me, this is a basic boundary in a shared living space.

So… AITA?