There's this guy I met at an exam, when we both were trying to get into a college. He didn't actually made it, but we kept a social connection. This guy was fun (sort of) and we had a few good laughs and had some chemistry going on (not sexual, he told me he was gay, I am straight F) BUT I was really bothered that he basically talked shit about eeeeeeveryone we met, in school basically. Classmates, teachers, the school itself, you name it. This guy would say things like "that guy doesn't deserve to be here" or "this school is a mess". Mind you, it's not like it all is rosy for me, just listening to him made me feel really down.

So me, him and another 2 people that had the exams together sort of created a social connection, so I didn't comment on this behaviour at all. Throughout the months we talked on Facebook and from there he was pretty fun. I actually opened up about some things and he did too. He said he was going through sth and tbh I felt sorry for him and decided to invite him to a class my school was having (such a thing was common, others had done it too).

I did, and I just quickly remembered how I really didn't like him sometimes, how negative he was. The thing is, I never had said anything to him by this point and it may have seemed that we had a connection, because I basically told him to do the exams again to pass etc. I guess I was being kind of fake for being so adamant about him and another girl doing the exams and passing, I didn't actually cared THAT much. But I just liked that I was in a new small social group after a little while, and we talked about getting drinks if he passed and it just felt good to be included. Feels sad to see it written out like that, but it's the truth.

So, yesterday I don't know what had gotten into me, but I actually spilled all the tea, all that was bothering me about him. I just felt like I had to, even though I am realizing now the wisest decision would be just gradually reducing contact. I guess I felt that would be fake on my part and that I wanted to be honest with him.

Anyways, I told him I wanted to reduce contact because I felt bad about him saying all these bad things about other people, I felt or put me down emotionally, like I had bad vibes. He (of course) took it badly and said that I was accusing him of basically accusing others, when I don't really know him. So I was doing to him what (I said) he was doing to others. I told him that wasn't true, I wasn't saying he was a bad person, just that I didn't like spending time with him if he was like that with other people, putting others down.

He said he was "joking" and he said I was being two-faced for acting good around him and then saying all that. Was I? AITA? I didn't talk shit about him to anyone, I confronted him head-on about what bothered me. He was sad that I told him all that and to him it came out of nowhere. Without trying to excuse myself, it's just the actual truth, I have a huge tendency to people-please and say "yes" to others, just in general trying to be the "good girl" to everyone, when inside I don't feel so.

On top of everything, to prove he was "on my side", he said that when someone talked shit about me, that he defended me. And now I am fucking paranoid about who that might be, is it that one woman we are classmates now or that other girl who I've helped and she me on studying? Either way it feels like shit to know someone talked behind my back.

TLDR: AITA for telling someone I felt really bad when he talked shit about others and wanted to reduce connection, even though it seemed like it was out of nowhere for him? Was I two faced to pretend that "everything was fine"?