I'm 23M, and this recent spat with friends has been a monumental ordeal. I'm in a friend group of 7 people, 3 couples, and me. My brother and his girlfriend are a part of this group. In addition, P is a longtime friend of 4 years who, at many points in time, has just shown up to my house unannounced and stayed for days, which is fine bc I love the guy like family. He's also serially late, like 6 hours late.

Over easter, my brother and I spent time with our family, about 40 minutes out of town. While out in the boonies, my brother gets a call from P, "Hey, what's up?" "Not much, me and OP are hanging out at easter." "You guys able to come over and eat some food I made?" "Well, try, but it's a long drive out, so it may be later." "That's cool, see you." Now, for more added context, he and his fiancée just moved into a house together, and for whatever reason, she doesn't like me. She very consistently makes fun of me for being single or how I dress and act. I've done my best to befriend her, but it's been mute as all our friends just kind of understand that she can be mean, and you just have to roll with it.

Well, after staying and finishing up easter, my brother says he's too tired to make the trip out. I said I would since I didnt want them to be alone at the end of easter; i know how it feels to have no one show up after an invite so i started the drive out, didn't think i had to call or text because they knew the time it would take to get there. I showed up about an hour and 20 minutes after the call.

I knock on the door, and P answers, "Why are you here?" "You invited us?" " I invited your brother." "Oh, should I leave?" "nah," we then watch a musical, and I leave right after to not impose.

This is where it gets bad. Text message thread:

I get a text the next morning from P's fiancé: "If you plan on coming over by yourself, call or text us first. We didn't think your brother was coming, so we weren't expecting house guests, and we do not want to have an open policy household."

Now I have to admit I should have made it known I was on the way, however, it seems like they just didn't want me in particular to stop by based on how it was worded, so I responded: "sure, know you guys are still allowed to show up to my place whenever, i would never question it." which to be fair is back handed but P has a history of just showing up whenever so i thought it was uncalled for.

She continues, "Yeah, every house has its own rules" I respond "I get that, but this seems like it has less to do with when i came and more about who showed up."

She responds, " Most of our friends call or text ahead of time." I respond, "I drove 40 minutes here to make time. I could have texted, sure, but I was focused on driving through the mountain roads."

she responds "Listen man im trying to be nice for the sake of friendships if you dont like the rules then dont come over anymore, im allowed to decide who I want in my house and I'm allowed to decide about how people approach me for coming over."

I just ended it with "I'm sorry you feel this way, we should discuss it later, love y'all like family," which ik is weird. But i say that often enough it's just understood in the group.

There's more, they then go to the group chat where P texts "PSA friends, if you want to come over. Please make your want to come over known by text, call, page, messenger pigeon, etc. I love y'all dearly, but don't drop by unannounced, we may not be home, or be getting ready for bed. Y'all are usually already good about this, but this is just in case you didn't know. It can be alarming to have your door tried unannounced." Making it seem like I came over without the invite in the first place, and that I was being creepy.

Now this is uncomfortable for the group, so no one responded, but now I'm in a weird position.

I think the friend group wants to stay hands off from the vibe I've gotten, AITA?