I have recently started working in an emergency vet hospital, which involves some very late nights, lots of overtime and working many nights in a row. This most recent stretch of 8 days has put a strain on my relationship and I’m struggling to identify what to think and how to react.

It started one evening when I had a particularly late finish due to a surgery. I didn’t get into bed until 4am. I did try to gently wake him for two reasons - firstly, his car wasn’t in the driveway and I wanted to make sure it hadn’t been stolen (it was just at the mechanic which I didn’t know about), and secondly because he gave me permission to wake him earlier that day so we could be intimate. It had been a while because of our conflicting schedules. He was furious at being woken up so I dropped it.

The next day he wasn’t responding to any of my messages. He works a job where his safety is at risk sometimes so I started to get really worried. He finally replied late in the afternoon saying he was very upset because he’d had such little sleep, apparently the dogs had been getting up and pacing to see if I was home yet which also disturbed his sleep.

He left without saying goodbye the next morning. That evening I had a particularly rough night at work so much that went I tried to go to sleep that night I found myself in tears over a particular patient. He once again got very frustrated he was woken up. He did ask what was wrong but his tone was not compassionate so I didn’t talk about anything and just tried to go to sleep.

I cannot believe it but two days later he is still upset to the extent that he’s barely replying to my messages and not saying he loves me back when I tell him. To me this is ridiculous childish behaviour, but what do others think? AITA?