I feel like I need to vent. I was dating a woman I truly had feelings for, but the relationship was extremely complicated and confusing from the start.

She would often cancel plans last minute, and when I said anything about it, she’d respond with things like, “If you don’t like it, I’ll leave.” She complained that I didn’t go see her, but when I said I would, she’d say her room was messy. Sometimes she told me to find someone else, claimed I didn’t love her and would get tired of her. She tried to make me jealous by saying people asked if she was single or suggesting we download dating apps.

One time, she said she wasn’t going to a party, so I said I’d go to church. Then she decided to go to the party after all and kept insisting I go to church while she went out. I felt hurt and said if she didn’t want me to go with her, she could’ve just told me. She said I hurt her. I tried to make it up by buying her chocolates and showing up early to see her, but she didn’t want to. Her sister saw me on the street and invited me up. She introduced me as her boyfriend to her friends, and later that same night said, “Let’s download an app and find you a hot girl.”

She never wanted to show herself on video calls, saying her hair was messy. Conversations were very one-sided. We planned to go to the park, but she canceled saying she hurt her leg. Sometimes she’d just disappear when I tried to open up.

She told me her ex had abandoned her and that another guy had replaced her. Once, I was mugged and nearly lost her contact—her reaction was indifferent. She said she wouldn’t message me if I didn’t message her first. There were always excuses when I tried to see her.

We finally went to the movies together. It was a nice moment—we kissed and spent the afternoon together. But shortly after, she asked if it wouldn’t be better if we were just friends. Another time at the mall, she gave me a chocolate, and we spent some time together. Once, I walked her home after the park, and it was always clear she didn’t want me meeting her family.

There was a time her sister dropped her off at my place, and I mentioned how we never went out because she was always making excuses. She got really mad. Another time we played a game, I said something bad about it, and she got upset and quit. Everything turned into a reason for her to shut down or vanish.

After all this, I called and broke up with her. She cried and blocked me. Then she said I “sent her to the psych clinic” and took away her happiness. Not long after, she texted me saying she missed me more than she thought she would. We started talking again, and I found her on a dating app. When I asked about it, she said she was looking for her friend’s ex.

Despite everything, I told her I loved her. She told me she went somewhere and wished I had gone with her. She invited me to her mom’s birthday party—I didn’t go. Then her mom called me asking if I loved her daughter and later invited me for coffee. We started talking again, but she said her dad was angry with me. I got upset and vented online, and she saw it and accused me of using and deceiving her.

After that, she blocked me and disappeared.

I honestly don’t know what I did wrong. I tried, I was present, I cared, I loved her genuinely. But now I feel guilty for walking away. She said the choice was “MINE,” that I abandoned her, that I took her happiness away. But honestly, I don’t know if I was the villain or just someone who tried to love someone who wasn’t ready.