So I (19F) have been best friends with this girl (19F) for over a decade. We’ve had a solid friendship—until she started dating this guy almost about a year ago. I tried to be supportive, even when he clearly wasn’t treating her right. But things have just spiraled.

Every time we hang out it somehow turns into a pity party about him. He blocks her, ghosts her, then comes back like nothing happened each and every time. She begs for his attention, and he gives her the bare minimum—if that. We went to the mall today, and it was supposed to be a fun day, but she cried the entire time because of something he did. Again. I had to stand there like a third wheel while she begged him over call like a child.

It was understandable at first—everyone goes through things. But it’s been months of this cycle, and honestly- I’m starting to lose respect for her. Call me insensitive, but I can’t keep watching her throw away her dignity for someone who treats her like crap, while ignoring the people who actually care and have been supporting her.

Don’t get me wrong. She’s a sweet girl and beyond humble. That’s why we’re so close. But that’s also why this whole situation frustrates me so much. She doesn’t deserve the way he treats her, and I know deep down she knows that too. But she just keeps taking it.

What really pushed me over the edge was when she came over to borrow my waist trainer for prom. She brought him with her (without asking), and while we were trying to put it on, this man literally walked straight into my house uninvited, with shoes on, like it was his place. Then while we were in the bathroom, he just walked in and stood there, awkwardly watching us like it was normal. And she didn’t say a single word—not to him, not to me. She just stood there like a doormat and let it happen. No respect for boundaries. No standing up for me or even herself.

Here’s what really bothers me: we have a big trip to Japan coming up that we’ve been beyond excited about. But now I’m worried she’s going to either bail on it or spend the whole time crying over him and checking her phone. I even talked to my mom about it, and she’s concerned too. It feels like our trip—and our friendship—is being sidelined for a guy who didn’t even ask her out until she begged after six months of knowing him.

I want her on this trip. I love her. But I don’t want this manchild and his drama ruining it. I’m also getting tired of pretending like I’m not deeply frustrated by all of this.

AITA for feeling this way and wanting to call her out before our big trip?