I (18F) have been recovering from (what my therapist calls - but Im not quick to label) an eating disorder (undereating/ tracking calories trying to lose weight). I have also always had a weird relationship with food, being extremely specific and picky making me have to go to a food psychologist when i was younger. I've always eaten peanut butter but avoided it for a bit because of calorie concerns. Reintroducing it a month ago was a huge step forward for me. For the last month, the only food I’ve been able to consistently eat is a specific peanut butter on a specific bread roll, along with blueberries and dark chocolate (idk). So, out of these, a PB roll is literally the only substantial food I will eat at the moment and I just cant fathom eating something else, it makes me sick and upset to think about eating, for instance tonight, the fish and rice my mum made.

My brother (21M) has a peanut allergy. I'm not sure if it's airborne (he doesn't share this which makes me think its not but i wont jump to conclusions) and he's lived in the same house as me for years while I ate peanut butter. I take precautions — storing it in a container with a lid inside a closed butlers pantry separate from any food he eats, wiping down surfaces, utensils, and plates used w PB, and washing after use - also he has his own set of crockery so this should be sufficient in my mind.

He recently returned from a trip where his host family don't have any nut products in their house. Since coming back, without talking to me, he asked our parents to tell me I’m no longer allowed peanut butter at all. He also threw away the container I had. I wasn’t consulted, and it’s now being treated as a house rule that peanut products are banned. He says he 'feels better' since this.

I understand his allergy is serious, and I respect that but at the same time I don't think he's had any allergic reactions or needed an eppi pen (though he has one prescribed) from my nuts - not that i should wait for this before fixing my habits but just as context. But this food is currently one of the only things I can stomach, and I’m afraid that not having access to it will cause me issues, too - not as much as a possibly life threatening allergy but my needs should matter too... I don’t think it’s fair to unilaterally ban a food that’s crucial for me — especially since I’ve been diligent about safety, and he’s an adult who would have the responsibility to manage his allergy in any shared home situation - i think he'd be lucky to have a roommate who takes the care I have.

I’ve tried to be objective about it, but I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable. AITA?