I’m (f29) from an immigrant family. My parents moved back to our home country early 2024, my sister is living 4 hours away from me. I have very good friends that feel like family too (just to clarify that I’m not a hermit). During the pandemic I bought an old house, it's my pride and joy. Maybe too big for myself but I enjoy the peace and hosting my friends and family. In 2024 after my parents moved I got diagnosed with a very difficult anemia so basically the whole 2024 I was sick and undergoing hard treatments. I didn’t tell my family, only my sister, she understood that if we told our parents they would come back and they were happy and finally spending time with their siblings. My friends were there for me when my sister couldn’t, one works at the hospital so I was extra spoiled when I had to stay there. By December I was already better but I still got tired very easily. During Christmas my mom told me her nephew and girlfriend were coming to my country and if I could check on them every now and then. Then by January my mom called again and told me that their accommodations fell through and if I could host them for a couple of weeks while they looked for a place. I called my cousin and laid out the rules 1) I like my house clean 2)No smoking or drugs 3)peace (not silence but a peaceful house, no shouting, no big messes, no bad vibes that aren’t justified) and he assured me that it would only be a couple of weeks because they already had jobs lined up.

They arrived by the end on january. The jobs didn't work so they couldn’t rent a place. I told them they could stay but to keep looking for any kind of job. Honestly I didn’t like them from the beginning. They’re messy and loud. I work from home most of the time and I had to tell them to lower the noise multiple times. They were looking for jobs but were picky or only lasted a couple of days. Meanwhile I paid for the groceries. I always cook for 2 to 4 people anyway because I freeze food so I don't have to cook everyday and my almost-doctor friend comes for lunch or dinner a few times a week. I really didn’t mind buying extra food but it was like 200€ more every month. What pissed me off about the food was that they would use ingredients I had plans for in food I didn’t like or wasn’t in my diet (and they knew because I have my weekly meal goals stuck to my fridge).

One week I left to visit a friend and came back to my house smelling like weed, my car wasn’t where I left it and the house was extremely messy. I was tired so I didn’t fight but told them to leave if they want to use weed and to clean my house before I woke up because If my house was still smelling and messy by the morning I would call the police and show them my security footage of them using my car without a licence and that’s easily a year in jail. When I woke up the house was spotless and they apologised a lot. I pitied them and told them they could stay a month, never touch my car again and to respect my rules because I was getting tired of them. The month came and they were in the same situation and my mother called to beg me to give them more time. Two weeks ago I woke up too early, I was craving a specific soup for lunch but had a meeting at the office so I decided to make the soup in the morning and when I come back I would add the eggs. I made enough to feed 4. In my iron pot for extra iron. I spent the whole time I was out thinking that I would go home to my soup, would buy fresh bread and squeeze orange juice and then I would take a nap. Arrived at my house exhausted and hungry but my soup was gone. The only trace of it was dirty dishes that they didn’t even bother to put in the dishwasher or sink and them taking up the two sofas napping. It was like I went blind with rage. I took all the dirty dishes and threw them to the floor and the wall, waking them up, then I took my pot and threw it to the coffee table in front of them. I screamed at them to leave my house right this moment and to never come back. I was so tired and hungry but I fell asleep. I vaguely heard them knocking on my door trying to talk to me but I was deep in my nap. I woke up a few hours later and I found my house clean and quiet. Apparently they tried to make me food and I threw it away. Then I checked my phone and I had my whole maternal family trying to contact me. I called my mom back and she told me that my cousin and girlfriend are telling everybody that I went crazy and attacked them with some dishes and that I was leaving them homeless. My mom suspected there was something more and she already knew I was getting tired of them so she asked me what happened. I told my mom that I made food, more than enough to feed everyone and went to work and came back home to eat my food that I paid for, that I cooked in my house and all I could find was dirty dishes that weren’t even in the sink so yeah I threw things but to my floor and walls and the pot to the coffee table but not aiming at them. I told her I was tired, they stress me out and they aren’t even grateful for having a roof over their heads and food on their table for free for months. She begged me to forgive them or give them more time to figure it out but it’s been months and they’re not capable of doing anything right. I was just done already. Then I checked my cousin’s messages. He told me they didn’t realise I didn’t save food for myself and it wasn't their intention to leave me without food. I still told them they weren’t spending one more night at my house and that everything they leave behind will be thrown out by tomorrow so hurry up packing and to leave the keys. The next day they weren’t home and l, after all this time, got into my guest room. It was a disaster, the white walls with footprints, even the ceiling had shoe prints somehow, chewing gum stuck to the furniture, stained duvet and mattress, the dresser was broken. Disgusting. I couldn’t deal with it so I called my cleaning lady for extra hours. She put in bags everything that was theirs and left it at the door for them to pick up (I told them at what time their things would be out), we got rid of the mattress, duvet, sheets, covers, pillows, the dresser and nightstand and the lamp. She had to clean chewing gums from EVERY furniture, I had to paint the room again because we couldn’t get rid of the wall stains. Basically getting back my guest room to how I like it cost me 800€.

The week after I kicked them out my mom, again, begged me because they were running out of their savings staying in a cheap hostel. She reminded me we were immigrants too and how hard it can be to start over in another country. I told her I helped because I remember but I also have manners when I’m a guest. I'm grateful when people help me but don’t feel entitled to it. She pushed again and I exploded. Basically I told her: I spent the whole 2024 sicker and weaker than I have ever been, my sister had to get tested to donate me bone marrow but thankfully blood transfusion worked, that my friends and sister had to take turns to live with me because I couldn’t even shower without taking breaks and now that I was finally recovering they brought stress and disrespect to my house and stress is not good for me so if she even care about me, to keep away her family from me and my sister because I don’t want to harm my progress now that I’m feeling better. I had to explain to my parents what happened to me and why we didn’t tell them. It pissed me off that I needed to do it for them to get that I should be respected in my own house but the rest of the family in my mom’s side is pissed off at me and talked shit about me because without my support they will have to be homeless in a couple of weeks or go back to their home country and apparently it’s my fault they were robbed at the hostel because I didn’t let them keep their things at my house.

The pressure it's getting to me because I wouldn't want anyone to be homeless because of me and thinking back I could have controlled my tantrum or could have given them more time to leave. So aita for kicking them out and how I did it?