I (24F) come from a third world country. My dad passed away when I was a baby, and I have no siblings. My mother has paranoid schizophrenia and has been on medication for about a decade now. She's completely isolated from everyone, which I understand given her condition.

The thing is, she abused me severely throughout my childhood, both physically and emotionally. I was hit until I bled, force fed pepper powder as punishment, had all my hair cut off against my will, was locked outside on the balcony in freezing cold for hours... the list goes on, she was disturbingly creative with her cruelty.

I understand this happened during episodes related to her condition, but what hurts the most is that even when she was medicated and lucid as I got older, she told me she doesn't regret any of it. She said I'm just being a "snowflake" and that I deserved everything she did to me as it was did to her by her father as a child. She still yells constantly, and though I feel a complicated love for her as my mother, I honestly can't stand living with her anymore.

Recently my grandmother passed away and left me enough money in her will to study abroad for a masters degree. I want to pursue this opportunity, not just to escape my current situation (I could move to another city for work if that was all I wanted), but because in 10-20 years, I'll have no family left where I currently live. I barely have any now, though my mother does have extended family members that I don't speak to. I don't want to be in a third world country with no family and my friends are traveling one after the other.

Whenever I bring up my plans to study abroad, my mother guilt trips me, saying things like "Who will fix my phone when you're not around?" and "You're going to leave me all alone?" As a child, I sacrificed my mental health and wellbeing to stay by her side, even when other family members offered to take me in.

I can't see how it would be selfish to pursue my education abroad as an adult rather than sacrificing my entire future for someone who abused me and shows no remorse. The guilt is eating me alive, but I also feel like this might be my only chance at building a better life.

My aunt lives in the same building, and she promised me she'll make sure my mom takes her medication (injections every two weeks) but that's about it.

So, AITA for wanting to go?