Hello everyone, I need some outside perspective on a situation that happened last year. I’m posting on a throwaway for anonymity. I’ll use the ages the people in question were last year to not make this too confusing. I (18f) started talking to a guy A (25m) on Snapchat after he added me. It quickly turned sexual and we started exchanging nudes. When I asked if we could meet in real life (we happened to live only 1h away from each other), he finally confessed that he has a wife. I said something like “Then I don’t think this is going to work” and we talked about other stuff for a while. He brought the subject up again with a “fuck it” attitude. I admit, I was really enchanted by the fact that someone saw me as pretty and wanted to sleep with me. I asked everyone I knew if it would make me the biggest asshole if I slept with him. Everyone said no. They obviously said (and I knew this too) that it wouldn’t be a good thing to do but that it wouldn’t make me a bad person. I asked my at the time best friend, M (16m), if he could come with me, just to be sure I was safe (he was about to turn 17). I asked him to wait in another room and said that he could have his headphones on. He said yes. I asked A if M could come with me. He asked to see his picture. I showed him one and A said that he would like to sleep with M too. I said that M was only 16. He said something like “Isn’t that the age of consent here?” (it is). All three of us were in a group chat, when A asked for a threesome. I messaged him saying something like “Absolutely not, he is too young for you”. He dropped the subject, and I was happy with that. M started to worry about our safety, so we made a really detailed safety plan. The day before the meeting, M said that he didn’t want to come with me. I was fine with that. The next day, I traveled to see A, and we slept together (without protection). I did everything I could to not get pregnant. After two weeks, my period didn’t start. One or two weeks later I finally did a test and it was positive. I was at a houseparty with M and his friends and I told them everything. They said that they didn’t judge me for what I did. I told my mom about the pregnancy and got an abortion. Maybe a month afterward, M’s friends texted me saying they didn’t want me in their friend group. M didn’t say anything to me, but it was obvious that the others had brainwashed him into thinking I was a monster. I texted one of them I had become closer to the weeks prior, saying “I’ve never felt this suicidal before” (for context, I have bpd with a long list of other mental illnesses and I can’t handle abandonment). She told M about the text message and he messaged my mom. They texted for a while. She tried to get him to see my point of view, but he didn’t. So that was that then. The absolute worst part is that I had asked M beforehand “Will you leave me if I do this?” He said no. We had an agreement that if I did something wrong, he would give me one more chance. I had asked him beforehand, “If I do this, is it one of those wrongdoings?” and he said no.

I’ve wanted to write about this here for a long time. So please, tell me if I am completely in the wrong. Did I deserve to lose my best friend for 10 years over this? You can ask me anything and I’ll answer. Note though that I won’t tolerate ANY pro-life comments as I did what was best for me and the fetus (I had probably already damaged it before the abortion since I tried to get rid of it).