We flew back to visit family for the holiday. We haven't been home in 3 years and everybody came to visit my wife. We've managed to meet in other places across the country over the years and this kid has progressively gotten worse each time we've seen him.

I'm on the spectrum, my cousin is too and his daughter is SUPER autistic. Our daughters were born 1 day apart, his first kid, my 2nd. We met up again when they were 2 and they were completely night and day. They had nothing to compare her too but seeing our daughters together, sent up a huge red flag for them. They took her in and got her diagnosed early on and it's taken them years but she's just fine and peachy now. Lots of exercises and calming techniques and patience.

I see the same things in this boy as we did my cousins daughter. He's two and easily overstimulated, grumbles and yells in place and then lashes out. Normally I wouldn't care but I know it'll be helpful for them to acknowledge it early on like this. My wife says to shush because it's not our place to say but everyone is acknowledging it behind her friends back. I say that's worse and almost as bad as her best friend making excuses for everything.

"Oh he just doesn't listen when he gets excited. Oh he just seizes up and yells thru his teeth to communicate frustration. Oh he just bites people he likes. Oh he doesn't know any better. He hates being touched. Sometimes you just gotta yell his name a few times to get his attention cuz he gets hyper fixated on something." Kid is 2 and barely talking, just mutters to himself or barely holds attention to anything. Yesterday we went to the beach and he had a full sensory meltdown over it. Just freaking out about the sand on his feet and arms and hands and flailing around like a fish out of water.

I feel it would be helpful to say something but everyone's telling me no and that it's not polite.

WIBTAH if I said anything about it?

TLDR: kid is showing severe signs of autism and nobody wants to say anything and I feel like someone should