I am a 24 year old female and the oldest of 5 siblings. My 2 sisters that are close to me are 18+ i have another sister (half sibling) whos 10 and lives with an adoptive family (i have no clue who her father is she was basically an accident my mom had) and my youngest sibling my brother who is 4 years old. She had him and he was born soon after i turned 20. My brother is autistic, non verbal, and throws tantrums often if he doesn’t get what he wants the moment he wants it. Its difficult because im the one with him most of the time my mom works alot , my other sisters that I’m close with one works alot and the other does help or do anything. Almost a year ago we lost my stepfather due to health issues (my brother’s biological father) and since then my mom has been dumping him on me more and more it feels like. My stepdad kept thinking my brother would grow out of his autism and refused all help for him when he was alive well now we are finally getting him help and its difficult because at the house it feels as if nothing is changing. My brother will bite us and pull our hair, screaming for hours if hes unhappy and cry because we don’t know what he wants. He will strip off all his clothes and piss and shit on the floor when were home because he finds it nicer then learning to use a toilet and we can dress him over 100 times a day it does nothing we even have onsies for him he discovered how to take them off without even unzipping them. He wakes up early as hell and keeps me awake late like almost 3 am late then still wakes up before 8 al most days its infuriating but when my mom is off work she still makes me stay up with him so she can get more sleep. I can’t get a job or live my life at 24 years old because I’m his caretaker who gets paid nothing basically. I hate my life and my brother and wish he wasn’t here. My sisters sometimes wish be was never born as well. Also recently we lost our grandfather i had to miss the entire funeral because of him he threw a tantrum before the service started i had to sit in the car the whole time. Then at the funeral home i had to sit in the car AGIAN because he was sleeping in the back seat. Everyone else got to sit through it. I miss out on important things like that alot because of him. My brother makes me want to cry most days because i dont know what to do , i never want a child of my own and he makes me wish i was never born myself. He bas basically destroyed a bedroom because he wont stop pissing on the floor and bed and jumping on the bed constantly. He won’t eat anything expect McDonalds nuggets and fries or rotisserie chicken and frozen fries and throws a fit when I’m not done heating them up for him. He digs his nails into my skin and trys to rip my hair out while trying to bite me and its a daily thing. We also live with my grandmother he constantly attacks her and I’m scared to use the bathroom because of fear of him hurting her when its just us 3 and the dog. Our grandmother is in her 70s and her health especially mentally isn’t the best as of recent times and it makes me wanna cry knowing I can’t stop him 100% of the time. Theres probably alot more i can ad on I’m just not sure what all to say exactly. Oh one more thing i can do everything around the house and my mom can sit there on her phone doing nothing but the second i sit down she calls my name again me and my sister think shes got narcissistic tendencies and doesn’t even realize it because alot of the time she complains about stuff or tells us stuff that has no relation to anything to us but then acts like shes affected by it somehow, complains about never being on her phone as well but shes on it as much as possible when shes home and then im stuck giving him mine as a trade for hers. One time me and my sister were about to dye my hair she stopped us and i had to clean up a nasty mess because my brother shit all over the house. I had to bathe him and clean the stuff he shat on. This was in the last month. She cant watch him alone for even a couple of hours so i can do anything, i cant even get a job because of this bullshit.