I’m currently living with 2 roommates we are all 20F. We all share a house for uni and are all friends. I have know Gracie since childhood as we are from the same hometown, and came to uni together. In the first year we met Kim through our new friend group as she started dating one of the boys, we eventually started hanging out the 3 of us and became close. In our second year we all decided to move out of the campus apartments and get a house together. The house is a 3 story town house (sounds fancier than it actually was) with the bottom floor being the kitchen and bathroom, the middle floor being the 1 bedroom (Kim’s) and the living room and then the top floor/attic being 2 bedrooms (Mine and Gracie’s).

For context myself and Gracie are very close as we grew up in a small town and bothered with a lot of the same social circles growing up. We became especially close during covid as we worked together. We spend a lot of time together since moving away and are quite codependent as we don’t have any family nearby. So naturally we got very comfortable in each others spaces as we were always with each other. In first year we have a set of keys for both of our apartments and just walked in all the time even if we weren’t home. The one would just sit and chill on the bed until the other got back. The same in our second year house. We often just walk into each others rooms and lounge on the bed or use each others stuff. This I was completely fine with as she was basically another sister I have known since I was 3.

When we moved in with Kim we had only been close for a couple months but as we were the only girls in our friend group we thought it would be a good idea to all get a house together. At first she seemed like a really nice girl but over time we started to notice her saying odd comments that made me feel a bit weird or act possessive. Nothing to Outlandish but as I’ve been through a lot of toxic friendships in the past the red flags were popping up. Nevertheless I just sort of brushed them under the rug because I don’t want to create tension with someone I’m sharing a lease with. Most of the time she tried to pass them off as a joke or a funny thing but not very convincingly like once she told us off for speaking about a girl from our hometown and to stop leaving her out then after a second of us just being silent looking at her she half laughed and just said only joking.

Anyways so back to the original AITA question. After a a couple months of living together I noticed when I came home things in my room would be rearranged slightly or moved to different draws. It was starting to make me feel a bit insane until a week later I came upstairs from a shower and Kim was in my room holding some of my dirty washing and tidying my room. (This was not something any of us did, we all would wash our own clothes unless it was a small load and asked if anyone had extra they wanted to put in). I asked what she was doing and she said she was just cleaning up the mess. I didn’t really know what to say so I just said something about wanting to dry my hair expecting her to leave but she didn’t. So I just ended up sitting on the floor drying my hair as I watched her but my laundry in the laundry basket in my room and move some make up around on my dressing table. My room was barely untidy. Obviously I felt uncomfortable as I felt guilty she was acting like a maid in my room but didn’t say anything as she was a bit unpredictable. And I was a little dumbfounded. Now something else I should mention is all of our bedrooms had locks on the door but we didn’t tend to use them as we where all friends but after this started to become a common occurrence I would lock the door when I left the house as I didn’t feel comfortable with her going through my room when I was not home. She brought this up to me within a few days and I just tried to brush it off that it was just extra security against intruders as i had some expensive things in there. Obviously not wanting to say it’s because of her and make it awkward. But she continued to enter my room and “clean” which was just moving things around basically every day. Even some evenings as I was going to bed or settling down for the night she would come up the stairs and just walk around my room touching things. I eventually started locking my door at night as I couldn’t sleep properly. Now this is where I feel like a bit of an asshole the other night me and Gracie where chilling in my bed with a cup of tea watching a cartoon. Kim came in and sat on the end of my bed and we were all chatting about normal things, gossip whatever. After a bit Kim got up and started moving things around my room again. I had already spoke to Gracie about this and how it made me feel so she instantly gave me a look. This went on for a while before eventually Gracie said she was tired so was going to go to sleep in her room. I hoped Kim would follow but she did not. I casually said I might go to sleep to and put my phone down and cuddled up in my bed so she would get the hint but she just said okay and carried on. After 5 minutes of just lying there in my bed listening to the sound of her clanging in my room I sort of snapped. I said can you please just stop cleaning my room. I don’t like it and it makes me uncomfortable. She left the room and I didn’t hear from her for the rest of the night. Gracie knocked on my door half an hour later, I hadn’t gone to sleep as I felt bad for telling her off and she said Kim had been in her room saying how I was really nasty to her and screamed at her and made her feel horrible for just helping me. I didn’t mean to make her upset but I just was sick of feeling like my private space was being invaded. I had tried to say previously she didn’t need to do that when she was tidying but she just brushed it off and continued.

So be brutally honest AITA for snapping at her?

(All fake names)