I just got engaged and my fiancé and I have had some arguments about things regarding our impending wedding. I’ve felt misunderstood by her in the past but I thought we’d made more progress than we have. These recent arguments are bringing those feelings of disconnection back up and it’s been hard for me.

A part of this issue is that I’d prefer to elope while she wants a wedding. There isn’t really a compromise that will fully work for both of us, so I told her we can plan a wedding. I’m trying to get on board and make this the wedding she wants. She’s surprised that it’s been so stressful for me, which makes me feel like she’s not considering everything we have to get done in the year until the wedding.

She says she wants to know what’s going on in my mind but also feels that I overthink everything and make little things a big deal, which leads to feel like she doesn’t really understand how I process things when she says she gets it. It’s been very hard and every time I’m not acting how she seems to want me to, it’s a problem and talking about it makes it feel worse