Need to get something off my shoulders, here goes! During the last Super Bowl game, my Wife (27) and I (27) went over to my close friend and his wife’s house (m38) (f39) I know quite an age gap. Little back story- I’ve worked with this guy for the past 5 years or so and instantly bonded, have had numerous outings and at home family dinners as we call it, including my kids and his and both of our spouses as my wife and his are good friends also.

Anyway, so during the night at the Super Bowl party at his house, my friends wife asked me to send her a video of her and my wife on Snapchat, (they do funny/goofy shit when they are together) so I said I didn’t have her on snap, searched her name and tried sending it without adding her as a friend and it wouldn’t allow me to send it without requesting to be friends so I sent the request and then sent the video. As far as adding her on snap, my wife and my friend were both present during this conversation.

Some time goes by, maybe like 2 weeks or so? She snaps me a random picture during the day with some random filter with the days date or whatever, mentioned it and showed it to my wife so there was no misunderstanding or anything like that. That was pretty much left at that.

Then the following week, they come over for family dinner and somehow a conversation got brought up about Snapchat and my friend says something along the lines of “ I don’t add my friends’ wives on Snapchat, it’s just weird”. His wife then says “ I have your friend on Snapchat(as in me).” The conversation pretty much was left at that, might have been some other random shit thrown in but insignificant to the story posting.

Literally the day after this conversation, he adds my wife on Snapchat and starts snapping her random shit, pictures and videos of me at work and stuff like that. Well now it’s a constant day to day occurrence. Prior to this, he’s added my wife on TikTok and on Facebook as well. The Snapchat thing has been going on for the past few months. Going back to my previous couple paragraphs, when his wife snapped me, I never responded. So when I saw that he snaps my wife every day I said fuck it and started responding to his wife’s snaps, thinking it would bother him like it is me but it hasn’t stopped. Yes, my wife does snap back but never says what the context of the conversations are anymore.

My wife and I have talked about this and she and I both felt it wasn’t inappropriate the first few times it has happened between my friend snapping her and my friends wife snapping me. But now it seems kind of shady or suspicious that my friend and her will snap chat but my wife won’t open his snaps or mention anything about it in front of me.

Now it seems like my friend and I will snap chat first thing in the morning on our days off of work and he will snap me once or twice and then leave me on read, but when my wife is on her phone around me and opens the app it shows that he has sent snaps to her and vis versa after he has opened my snaps but never responds back to me. Also, my wife won’t open his snaps around me unless I say something about it like “wonder what he sent you now”.

My wife claims that he always snaps her first but I’ve seen her phone when she opens the app around me and it shows that she sent a snap first which is a lie on her part and makes it seem more suspicious to me personally.

I’ve talked to my wife and expressed how it makes me feel that he snap chats her and leaves my snaps on read. I tell her it kind of pisses me off about the whole situation, and have expressed to her that it seems like a dig or shade towards me that he added her legit the day after his wife said she has me on Snapchat and his comment saying he never adds friends’ wives on Snapchat, that it’s weird to him. I’ve contemplated deleting his wife off of my Snapchat to see if he does the same.

Am I the ass for feeling like this whole things a bit shitty/shady?

Anyway, if you’ve read this far and can make sense of the situation, feel free to share advice/questions!